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cookie_365 · 25-02-2009, 19:23

Think about your colleague's motives.

Are you getting stressed out at work, and your colleague has noticed, and is trying to help you out by letting you know that you can relax a bit and still be a success.

Or are they a bully, threatened by you? A classic bullying technique is to tell anyone offended/upset/uncomfortable by their behaviour to 'lighten up' - it's a way of making their victim feel responsible for the situation.

Assuming it's the first, I would go back to them and say 'You know, I think you might be right - I do need to relax a bit - I'm so uptight I've got no idea how to go about it - any suggestions?'. That gives them a chance to help you out and bring you into the social group, without anyone feeling like you've just decided to impose yourself on them.

25-02-2009, 19:23	#12
cookie_365 Inactive Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Brighton Posts: 2,583	Re: letting you hair down Think about your colleague's motives. Are you getting stressed out at work, and your colleague has noticed, and is trying to help you out by letting you know that you can relax a bit and still be a success. Or are they a bully, threatened by you? A classic bullying technique is to tell anyone offended/upset/uncomfortable by their behaviour to 'lighten up' - it's a way of making their victim feel responsible for the situation. Assuming it's the first, I would go back to them and say 'You know, I think you might be right - I do need to relax a bit - I'm so uptight I've got no idea how to go about it - any suggestions?'. That gives them a chance to help you out and bring you into the social group, without anyone feeling like you've just decided to impose yourself on them.