Sixth Formers Science Exam with typical answers
Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation, this makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them sweat a lot.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon and because the moon doesn't pull hard enough the water schlops about on the surface of the earth.
Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets fixed on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and starts adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with smoking cigarettes.

A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized, E.g., abdomen.

A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominal cavity contains the bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is a fibula?

A: A little liar.
Q: What does 'varicose' mean?

A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.

A: The Caesarian Section is a district of Rome.
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Cor they's be difficult, dunno hows many I got roight - innit!
Si thee