Quote:
Originally Posted by phormwatch
OK! proto-final draft of the Open Letter To Business is complete.
Please check for inaccuracies, or potentially libelous statements. Also, if you have any other suggestions for 'What business can do', then please share them.
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Erm... some grammatical corrections?
which is run by a person called Kent Ertugrul
could be better phrased
which is run by a person named Kent Ertugrul
or
which is run by a person whose name is Kent Ertugrul
121Media was responsible for writing
could be better phrased
121Media were responsible for writing
Richard Clayton, Security expert and Cambridge professor has said this,
should be
Richard Clayton, Security expert and Cambridge professor said this,
Internet starts with a capital "i"
letter to the British government asking it to clarify whether Phorm complies with EU privacy laws.
should be
letter to the British government asking it to clarify whether or not Phorm complies with EU privacy laws.
or
letter to the British government asking it to clarify that Phorm complies with EU privacy laws.
sorry...
Apart from that it's a brilliant letter
