[Barkotron]

For a bit of light relief, pilfered and mildly adapted from an Ars Technica forum discussion about Do Not Call registers, years ago, I present:

The Opt-Out: A Play In One Act


Waiter: "Hi, I'll be your waiter tonight."

Customer: "Great! I'd like the soup please."

[Waiter takes out a hammer, thwaps customer on skull]

Customer: "WTF was that for?"

Waiter: "Sir, I'll stop thwapping you on the head as soon as you TELL me to stop."

Customer: "Why the hell would I have to TELL you to stop?"

[Waiter thwaps customer once more]

Customer: "GOD DAMMIT!"

Waiter: "Just say 'Stop,' sir, and this will all be over..."

YE ENDE