[goldoni]

A gorilla walked into a quiet Waterford pub and putting down a five pound note asked the barman for a pint of bitter. The barman served him thinking "I bet he's a bit dim" then gave him back £1 in change, then wishing to be friendly said "We don't get many gorillas in here" "I bet you don't" replied the gorilla "If you charge them four quid a pint"

---------- Post added at 10:43 ---------- Previous post was at 09:25 ----------

Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The Vicar came to call on her one afternoon, she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat.

while she prepared a little tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young Vicar noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his curiosity! Surely Miss Bea had flipped or something..! When she returned with tea and cakes, the Vicar tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him, and he could resist no longer. "Miss Bea," he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" (pointing to the bowl).

Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was returning from church and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know... I haven't had a cold all winter."