Quote:
Originally Posted by Derek S
Police have revealed the one of the men arrested at Glasgow airport on Saturday was a Poetry student at Paisley University.
He's currently in the serious burns unit...
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And on that note, this joke is doing the rounds in Glasgow; it's about John Smeaton, one of the baggage handlers who wellied the flaming terrorist (in so many ways) -
Glasgow Baggage Handler John Smeaton:
Once a cobra bit John Smeaton's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
John Smeaton uses his abs to smooth diamonds
John Smeaton does not dodge bullets. Bullets dodge John Smeaton
Everynight before the bogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for John Smeaton.
John Smeaton doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
It was once believed that John actually lost a fight to a terrorist, but that is a lie, created by John himself to lure more terrorists to him
Smeaton went tae the same school as Charles Bronson and stole his dinner money everyday.
John Smeaton isn't afraid of the dark...the dark is afraid of John Smeaton.
John Smeaton once killed a lion with his bare hands.
John Smeaton can make a woman climax just by looking at her and shouting ALLAH!
Anthropologists are studying John Smeaton to try to find the origins of the lack of "flight" in his "fight or flight" response
Smeaton used to racially abuse Bruce Lee to his face, and forced him to cook him Chicken choi mein every night free of charge.
Alex Salmond has abandoned any future plans for wind farms in Scotland.He is just going to use Johnny's arms to power the whole of Scotland and sell the surplus energy to the East Coast of America.
There was a Comet headin straight for Earth one year ago, it was too big for Nasa to destroy wi Nuclear bombs.. so they phoned Smeaton to jump up on springs and punch eff oot it.
John once challenged Chuck Norris to a square go. Mr Norris kindly refused the advance.
John Smeaton can strangle you with a cordless phone.
John Smeaton won a game of connect 4 in 2 moves.
John Smeaton can delete the recycle bin
If you wake up tomorrow, it'll be because John Smeaton allowed you to
Smeaton once held down eight Tigers and gang raped them.
John Smeaton dosent sleep, he waits.
When John Smeaton does push ups, he's actually pushing the ground down.
The Argies surrendered Port Stanley when the heard that John Smeaton had been born.
John Smeaton is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a effing Jeep.
John Smeaton drowned a fish.
Death once had a near-John Smeaton experience.
John Smeaton died 5 years ago, Death never had the balls to tell him
John Smeaton once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands