Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
A woman gets pulled over for speeding...
Woman: “Is there a problem, Officer?â€Â
Officer: “Ma'am, you were speeding.â€Â
Woman: “Oh, I see.â€Â
Officer: “Can I see your license please?â€Â
Woman: “I'd give it to you but I don't have one.â€Â
Officer: “Don't have one?â€Â
Woman: “Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.â€Â
Officer: “I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.â€Â
Woman: “I can't do that.â€Â
Officer: “Why not?â€Â
Woman: “I stole this car.â€Â
Officer: “Stole it?â€Â
Woman: “Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.â€Â
Officer: “You what?â€Â
Woman: “His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.â€Â
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: “Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!†The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: “Is there a problem sir?â€Â
Officer 2: “One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.â€Â
Woman: “Murdered the owner?â€Â
Officer 2: “Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.â€Â
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: “Is this your car, ma'am?â€Â
Woman: “Yes, here are the registration papers.â€Â
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.â€Â
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: “Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.â€Â
Woman: “Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.â€Â
__________________
Thank you for calling the Abyss.
If you have called to scream, please press 1 to be transferred to the Void, or press 2 to begin your stare.
If my post is in bold and this colour, it's a Moderator Request.
|