[Tristan]

Okay, here's my story. I'm afraid it might be a bit long, but that's okay -- I'm typing this whilst on hold to Virgin Media customer services.

We have a range of services from NTL totaling £80 a month excluding phone calls. So when I saw the new VIP package -- £85 a month for a V+ box, faster broadband, a second box, etc -- it seemed like a very good deal. I know, I thought, I'll phone Virgin and order it.

So yesterday I called 150 from my NTL/Virgin phone. The recorded voice of a nice young lady told me to press 2 if I wanted to change my package, which I did. After about 10 minutes on hold, I finally got through to someone who had never heard of the VIP package, had no idea what it was, etc etc. After consulting with his collegues (which involved me being on hold for another couple of minutes), he decided I should be transferred to sales.

Now I have to say, the sales bloke was excellent. He answered the phone quickly (about 30 seconds), was really on the ball, and was eager to help. We currently have broadband via the STB, but this isn't supported via the V+ box so he arranged to send me a standalone cable modem. It'll arrive on Monday. Brilliant. However, for whatever reason he wasn't able to actually make the changes to my account to add the new TV packages and so on, or able to book the V+ installation.

So I was transferred again. This involved another wait on hold, but "only" around 5 minutes this time. I was answered by a guy who had no idea that I been transferred to him, so I had to explain the situation again. He told me that he would be able to change the broadband, TV and phone packages, but then I'd have to talk to someone else to actually arrange the V+ installation.

Unfortunately, after we'd arranged a second direct debit for broadband (why???), he found there was some sort of problem. "Do you mind if I pop you on hold for a moment?", he said. I said no. TEN MINUTES later, he finally came back on the line -- in fact, he did so just as I was taking the phone away from my ear to press the "hang up" button. It turns out that he couldn't apply the "VIP" discount to my account until I actually had a V+ box in my house, so I could either stick with what I've got until installation (when I'd have to call back), or have the upgrades now and pay full whack for them. Well, I wasn't very impressed with this, but decided to stick with what I've got.

So then I was transferred, one last time, to someone who could actually book a guy to come round to my house and install a V+ box. Or at least, that's the idea. After another 30 minutes of listening to the Virgin Media hold music, I decided to give up.

To say I wasn't happy is an understatement.

Anyway, that was yesterday. Today, I decided to try again. So throughout the day I have been trying 150 followed by option 2. Not once has the phone been answered within 10 minutes, at which point I have usually given up. This post has taken me about 20 minutes to compose so far, and I've just given up again. (Yes, I know there's an 0845 number as well, but I'm certainly not prepared to pay NTL's daytime rate of 3p per minute to listen to that bloody hold music.)

So that's it, that's my story. I have a new modem on the way to me, and I think I've got a second direct debit set up to pay for broadband (but I've no idea whether it's *also* going to come off the first direct debit, the way it has done for the past 4 years or so). I have no idea what my situation is, but I can't even get in touch with anyone to check. I have the same services I had yesterday, with no V+ box and no install date.

I also have a thoroughly bad taste in my mouth about the "all new" Virgin Media. We've been with NTL for about 7 years now, and despite the reputation, I've never had an experience anywhere near as bad as this.

Since about 2001 I've been active on several cable forums, and in general I've defended and been supportive of NTL, even in the "horrible pink" days when Sky were clearly a long way ahead. But all that goodwill has been eroded in one fell swoop. Suddenly I can see that all those "NTL CS horror story" threads I've been dismissing over the years are actually pretty much spot on.

So, if anyone is still reading and has managed to get this far, I'd like to know two things. Firstly, who can I complain to (without having to sit on hold for 20 minutes first)? Secondly, what's the number for Sky CS?