The Good Husband
Adam wakes up with a huge hangover after attending the Staff Christmas
Party. Adam is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at
all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was
feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Adam had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is
a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to
them, a single red rose! Adam sits up and sees his clothing in front of
him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in
perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back
at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of
the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his
wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get
groceries to make you your favourite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!
Love, Vicki "
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Adam asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell
over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got
that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So,
why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she
tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table $239.99.
Hot Breakfast $4.20.
Two Aspirins $.38.
Saying the right thing, at the right time,
PRICELESS!!!!
---------- Post added at 01:04 ---------- Previous post was at 00:17 ----------
A German guy approaches a prostitute and says, " I vish to buy sex vit you."
"OK," says the girl, "I charge 100 dollars an hour."
"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."
"No problem," she replies cautiously. "I can do a little kinky."
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller and says, "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs."
The girl finds this very strange, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees.
"Now you vill get on your hans and knees."
She duly does this, balancing on the springs.
"You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you."
She finds all this very odd, but figures it's harmless, and the guy is paying.
The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.
The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered her breath.
Finally she gasps, "That was totally amazing....... what do you call
that?"
"Ah", says the German, "Four-spring duck technique"
