[quadplay]

Originally Posted by DarthYoda

Have attached a copy of the letter customers are recieving in the mail. I can't attached the pdf of the booklet as its too big.

And here's the unedited version, found on another forum... I hope the original poster won't mind me reproducing it.

Dear customer,

Hello. Richard here. The one with the beard. I've got a spiffing new
wheeze that I wanted to tell you about.

You know how sometimes people take the good parts of crashed and
destroyed cars, and weld them together into a new one? Well right now,
we're bringing ntl, Telewest, Virgin.net & Virgin Mobile together to
form a brand new entertainment company.

The whole mess will all be sprayed red, and called Virgin Media. Hey,
that's my name! It'll look just as good as a real car, as long as you
don't actually drive it. And since you might have things in the
glovebox of the old companies that we've cut and shut together, we
thought we should let you know before anyone else.

The future is bright. Wait, isn't that someone else's slogan? Well
it's mine now. And guess what? We'll be the first people to bring you
Digital TV, Broadband, Phone and Mobile, all from the same company. As
long as you don't count ntl, who did it years ago. And nobody wanted
it back then either! But that's not important right now. What's
exciting is all the new things we'll bring you. Like Digital TV.
You've probably got this already. But not with a Virgin logo on it.
And you can turn it off whenever you want. Which we think will be most
of the time. Cool!

There's also Broadband that lets you download as much as you want. You
might have this already, and if you do then you'll know that this part
isn't true. Download too much and we'll make your connection run
slower than our trains. But don't tell the ASA. Ha ha!

We also offer simple phone packages that charge you far more than
anyone else. It fits around your life and gives you the unrivalled
convenience of not having to worry about whether you want it or not,
because we force you to pay for it anyway. And for when you're on the
move, I'd love to lend you my old pay-as-you-go mobile. Whoo! Quad
play! Excellent!!!

We're here to bring you the service you deserve. Hey, I said that with
a straight face! But I'm not pretending it's going to happen
overnight. It's not going to happen at all really, because nothing is
changing, we're just sticking a new logo on everything. And that's the
important thing. We're working with some of the cheapest suppliers in
the business to do it.

For a glimpse of what's ahead, have a look at the nice pictures in the
enclosed leaflet. We hope they'll distract you from that nasty "PRICE
INCREASES" letter you got a few weeks ago. And if you want to know
more, come to my website. You could win a chance to party with me.
Whimmy Wham Wham Whazzle!

There's just one more thing we want you to know.

We're aiming to make the whole Virgin Media experience just as good as
the service our Virgin Trains customers have enjoyed for years.

We don't think it'll be hard.

It's going to be simply smashing!

Please send money.

Love and hugs
Richard Branston