Cable Forum - View Single Post

basa · 07-09-2006, 13:00

At dawn's early light, the telephone rings...

"Hello, Mr Smith? This is Jackson... the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Jackson. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Uh...I'm just calling to advise you Sir, that your parrot died."

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International speaking competition?"

"Yes Sir...that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating rotten meat, Sir."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed the parrot rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Sir, he ate the meat of your dead horse!"

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred that won the Breeders Cup, Sir. He had died from a heart attack pulling the big water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Sir!"

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Sir! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the..!! There's electricity at the house!! What the hell was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Sir."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?"

"Your wife's, funeral. She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a burglar. So I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike driver."

A long pause of complete silence...

"Jackson, if you broke that driver, you're a dead man

---------- Post added at 13:00 ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 ----------

A young couple drove their car to Tesco only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the car park. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead

07-09-2006, 13:00	#519
basa Inactive Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: S Manchester Age: 77 Posts: 1,766	Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread At dawn's early light, the telephone rings... "Hello, Mr Smith? This is Jackson... the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Jackson. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Uh...I'm just calling to advise you Sir, that your parrot died." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International speaking competition?" "Yes Sir...that's the one." "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?" "From eating rotten meat, Sir." "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed the parrot rotten meat?" "Nobody, Sir, he ate the meat of your dead horse!" "Dead horse? What dead horse?" "The thoroughbred that won the Breeders Cup, Sir. He had died from a heart attack pulling the big water cart." "Are you insane? What water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire, Sir!" "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house, Sir! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire." "What the..!! There's electricity at the house!! What the hell was the candle for?" "For the funeral, Sir." "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?" "Your wife's, funeral. She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a burglar. So I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike driver." A long pause of complete silence... "Jackson, if you broke that driver, you're a dead man ---------- Post added at 13:00 ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 ---------- A young couple drove their car to Tesco only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the car park. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead