This is really strange, I actually rang the ex dir phone from the main phone and it rang correctly, then I used the ex dir/modem phone to dial the main phone and that worked as well. I then tried once again to send the fax and it went through OK. Checking the fax logs shows my main home phone number in the failed fax logs but I swear I entered the correct phone number, even I am not that senile that I would do it wrong 4 times.
Also a short while later my wife tried to phone out on the main phone, got the key tones of the numbers but then the line was dead. It is a dect phone and I pressed the send symbol and got no sound when I should have heard a dialing tone. I rang the phone from the ex dir phone and although I could hear a ringing tone the main phone was not ringing. Tried a short while later and it worked OK, also the person my wife rang said that her phone rang the first time when we heard nothing.
It seems OK at the moment, will have to keep an eye on it.