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Originally Posted by monkeybreath
I don't know much (or infact anything) about your situation... i am going to try to avoid saying anything that is patronising/ cliched/ annoying so this may be a short reply!
We all go through bad patches in our lives, i am having a bad day today, probably nothing compared to you, but when i wake up tomorrow things may well be better (that may well be tempting fate saying that...)
Just grin and bear it, if you have anything to look forward to think about that, if you don't then just live each day as it comes.
I am crap at saying things in situations like this... but i am sure someone will be along soon with some better words than i have 
MB |
I appreciate what you are trying to say monkeybreath, but I will shortly be going to bed, and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with WONT be there (and Hasnt for 20 weeks). When I wake up in the morning, Maureen wont be there, and I'll think ' why her and not me, should have been me'. Perhaps I'm going mad, I dont know. Perhaps what I feel ( the guilt of surviving, being alive when a better person is dead) is what everyone fells when a loved one dies. I dont know.
All I know is that a person who was 10, a 100, whatever many times the human being I am/ was is dead, and I'm still here.
As much as I love my family and friends, I dont care enough any more. I'm more afraid of living than I am of dying.
The fact I have to be half drunk to admitt this, just shows what a chicken$h1t I've turned into.
I think I'll regret posting this thread in the morning, but sod it, too late now................................