That was hilarious! I want to write one for Canada too.
This bit, though, drew my attention:
Quote:
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I walked out to the parking lot to discover the nice driver in the silver Rover had parked so close to my rental car that I couldn't get in. Actually, I could even get between the cars. I'd purposely parked out in the boonies - being used to American parking lots, on my first night in the UK I didn't want to bugger up my parking in the narrow bays and **** someone off. Despite my thoughtfullness, this other person seemed to have a fully functioning herd instinct and parked right next to me. We were the only two cars at that end of the lot. So I got in on the passenger side, crawled over to the drivers side and I'm sure the insurance will cover his wing mirror which snapped off as I reversed out of the space (when it caught behind the one on my rental car.)
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Are your parking lots smaller than ours? I don't know what a Rover is, but it sounds expensive. I'd just back out and scratch the car to hell and leave.