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Originally Posted by Flubflow
It is not just about what the parent says to the child. It is also about how the parent behaves. By smacking you are teaching that ultimately the most "effective" way is the violent way. That cannot be the right way because it just perpetuates more violence. Children are not very keen on patience and will happily mimmick the violent short cut to get an instant result that suits them.
Positive discipline is not an instant cure which you can discard after use. It is a way of life. However, it does not cost anything. The average parent should be able to do it because that is who it is designed for. Started early enough it will work without trouble. Using it on exceptionaly problematic children will obviously take more time and effort.
I think everyone will agree that bringing up children is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. There are no shortcuts.
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Yet with the professionals I've seen, they have the most disruptive, undiciplined children I've ever had the displeasure to meet, despite knowing the techniques you mention, and more.
Accoding to your theories I should be a violent person, and historically, society would consist nearly entirely of extremely violent people as they were brought up having/witnessing the cane being used at school.
But that isn't the case.
Children know a slap is punishment for something they've done which they shouldn't have done, they don't associate it with violence.
It teaches them that if someone does something wrong, they should be punished, the core of Justice.