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Originally Posted by Flubflow
I don't know quite how you can just casually rubbish the experts like that by making broad statements that positive discipline does not work and has no effect. Maybe you have misunderstood the information in the link I gave or perhaps you need to look for some more expert resources on the subject which may deal with more specific examples.
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It's easy when you see it day after day not working.
With parents saying "Johnny, I don't want you to do that, it's really not very nice is it?" and seeing the kids totally ignore their parents.
As I said, I know several professionals who have been taught various forms of disipline, and chose to use reasoning with their own children, with dire results.
If this happens with professionals who know all the information, and have been on specific courses, how are the vast majority (and to make a difference it has to be the vast majority) of average parents going to be able to do it and make a difference to society?
Kids soon learn that if they give the right answers to the reasoning questions asked by their parents, they can get on with what they want, without being punished.
Parents says "Now I don't think that was a very nice thing to do, do you?"
Kid thinks "I don't care, I wanted to do it and its not like I'm going to get into trouble for it, but you're holding me up so I can't give an honest answer. If I say what you want to hear then you'll let me go and play"
Kid says "Yes daddy, I'm sorry, I won't do it again"
Adults underestimate how devious children can be.