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Originally Posted by Xaccers
I would like to donate sperm for altruistic reasons.
I'd like to be able to give some unknown couple the possibility of becoming parents.
Because of the relationship I was in, I felt it would be unfair to my partner to donate when she and I couldn't have children.
Now I am single it's back on my mind.
Sure, I would like, 20 years down the line or whatever, to find out that my sperm was used and I have helped a couple have a kid or more, but I don't know if I would like to meet them.
What if I do marry someone who can't have kids, or we have kids and they die, how is my wife going to react to someone turning up on my door saying they are my son or my daughter?
And if I do have kids, how would they react to having an older brother or sister?
Worst case scenario it tears the family apart, as what happened when my aunt was contacted by her son who she was forced to give up for adoption.
Now she recieved a letter from the agency telling her that her son would like to get in contact, so the final choice was hers.
If this method is used for donors, then I don't have a problem with it. If I get a letter saying that my donation would like to get in contact, and give me the chance to talk it over with my family, then decide, I'd be happy with that.
I think a lot of people would.
But if the donation is freely given the ability to contact me directly, without warning, then I can see that causing a lot of problems in a lot of cases.
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The problem with not knowing who your children are is that you are unable to prevent unacceptable relationships happening.
For example, a donor donates sperms which is used to fertilise a number of women. If the offspring of such women, say the son of one and the daughter of another, were to meet 20+ years down the line and fall in love, what would their legal position be in relation to each other if they chose to marry? And what would be the genetic implications?
Similarly if a 20 year old man donates his sperm and 20+ years later falls in love with the 20 year old daughter of one of the women who used his sperm, would the danger not exist that in a sexual encounter with her he would in fact be having sex with and/or fertilising his own daughter?
In effect for those reasons alone the donor would have to be aware of the children he had fathered and steps would have to be taken to prevent the sexual interactions of offspring both with themselves and their unknown father.
The donation of sperm is a genetic and legal minefield and the saying that 'it's a wise child who knows its father' is truer than ever.