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Originally Posted by Sociable
Having been in that position of needing those questions answered (and not just the medical ones) I for one can 100% confirm I would have been lost without the opportunity to at least try to answer them by getting to know my natural father.
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(I'm sorry, but in replying to this I'm going to ask some difficult questions and make some hard points, but I think they *need* to be said.)
And then what happens if the adopted child discovers that they were the offspring of a rape or, even worse, an incestuous relationship?
Ok, this won't be the same in the case of donated sperm, but what if the father they track down turns out to now be an alcoholic or a drug user or in prison for something very nasty?
Even if they're not, personally speaking, were I to donate, I would *not* want someone knocking on my door in 20 years time saying "you're my father, deal with it" because I have no idea what sort of position I'd be in then and it could cause *me* more problems than those "resolved" for my "offspring".
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My question is what will now become of all those other children already born via donor eggs and sperm in the period since this first became available and now?
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The answer is *NOTHING* without the consent of the donor. To force public recognition on someone who had been guaranteed anonymity would be totally unjustified.
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So what of the donors? Well anyone donating does so clearly in the knowledge that a possible, and even desired result of that donation, is the creation of a human life to which they are undeniably forever linked.
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I donate blood. Whilst it is not involved in the creation of a life, it may well be involved in the *saving* of a life. But I have as little connection with that life as one that would be created by the donation of sperm.
Just because I might now share some genes with someone does *not* mean I necessarily want to or should be *required* to share anything else with them.
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The old maxim still holds true †œHonesty is always the best policyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šà ¬Ã‚ÂÂ.
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Speaking as a social worker, do you *really* think that's best in *all* cases??
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The notion that your personal genetic history and heritage can be known to some faceless bureaucrat but denied to you as an individual defies any legal, moral or ethical justification.
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Excuse me, but that "faceless bureaucrat" is a *real person*. Just as that faceless donor was also a *real person*. They have rights of their own, they have lives of their own, they have responsibilities to others that you may know nothing about.
If I were to make comments about "some faceless bureaucrat" in the Social Services Department making decisions on information that's only accessible to them, I'm sure you'd take exception.
What makes sperm donation different?