so life continues i am greatful to everyone here who has commented and gave me food for thought on my feelings, suicidal somewhat...... which are fully confused at the moment, by confused i mean emotionally i am totally out of my head would be the best way to put it.
its not that i dont care about anyone else, or that i dont like my freinds or dont give a damn about there advice on this forum, its just i struggle to show emotion at all im just like hmmm....and continue to stare i suppose its somewhat gradually stuck on to me over the past few months.
i know some have said i need to get proffesional help, but im not fond of doing it, simply because i have lost faith in anyone really to do with the 'help' secter, that includes doctors counsillers along those lines.
i am trying to keep myself occupied going out (being dul)l but trying to do something to keep my mind off doing something stupid...
at times its increasingly difficult, my sleep pattern is wayword just gone 30
hours without sleep, but i eventually got to sleep
sometimes i can be happy other times i just feel like hiting someone, other times i just feel like hiding
strange i know...........
earlier today i had one of my freinds whos a churchy recommended i turn to god the second time since i told him my problem he has said that, and i didnt even respond those of you who know me know i would have 'kicked off'
i guess thats another freindship to end, i have repeatidly told the person previously to let me live my life, and stop the imposing on me of religion
if i can actually show an angry emotion
but i move along somehow...........
i hope everyone had a great christmas got loads of pressies and turkey