I've not posted thus far because I really don't feel qualified to proffer advice.
It is my firm belief that you need to talk to someone who has been professionally trained.
I can understand if you don't want to talk to your GP but there are councilors who can offer a much better ear because that's what they are trained to do(something that not all doctors can achieve)and maybe just talking about a problem makes it seem much more managable.After all you do seem to be much happier when you have unburdened yourself here from time to time.It has to be much better to talk to someone who has been trained to really listen and not to talk at you (which is what you will get to a certain extent from the untrained but well meaning amateur).
Please consider going back to the college and asking to talk to the councilor there or ask if they can refer you to another trained councilor if you feel you can't face your GP.
My daughter has had her problems at uni and at a certain point was self harming.She couldn't talk to me but did,when I suggested it go and see the university councilor.It has helped her enormously and I no longer feel as concerned as I once did.The fact that she was seeing a councilor also ensured that she had an automatic place in halls of residence in her second year and that she was able to get a hardship grant this year when she need a financial boost.
I feel very strongly that this is your best option under the circumstances.I'm sure that if you check around you will find some help also from a local drop in centre for young people of your age.
Try to do something about it though because there is so much for you to look forward to despite that at the moment it might not seem like it.
Incog.
