[kronas]

first of all im sorry for not replying sooner, i have been trying to keep myself busy i have been around freinds and family and they knew something was wrong straightaway, as my mood was not the same........

i am also sorry to those who have had to put up with this on the forum, especially the freinds i have on here and the mod team, i know this is not a 'support' forum for this but i really cant talk to anyone that i know as in close freinds and my family, if you all understand, i am afraid they may laugh at me

i was very nearly ready to stab myself last night, i had the urge to do it i was going to leave my room and do it but my conscience stopped me, i made a vow along time ago to never kill my ownself, i even thought about what it would do to my freinds especially my family if i did it........

im not going to go in to it too much, as i said i dont think this is the right place and im sure many would rather discuss more important issues, as to what the forum is here for

but one thing i will say a person can only take so many knocks in life, being an underachiever due to ones health ruining the chance, not being able to get a job because no one is willing to take you on, being accused of lieing about your health threatened about being locked up because your starving yourself on purpose which is false, having 0 prospects in life absolutely nothing to live for

i feel trapped i feel i need to getaway do something but i dont know.......

i know this post may look like im selfcentered, and i only think about myself but im not, if i did not care about my family freinds i would have killed myself by now, all i want to do is get some stabilty in my life, thats one thing i have never got, sure i made freinds but im talking about going out there and doing something for myself get a job, start earning helping my family with the bills, giving money to the poor, doing good deeds for people who deserve it

i dont ask for much i just ask for peace not just for me but for everyone