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Hom3r 06-08-2018 21:22

Anorexia
 
As you may know my niece "K" has been diagnosed as anorexic.

A few week back she did a week at her old school assisting the teacher (In support of her A levels.)

The teacher was talking and asking her how she was, she told the teacher about her food issues and the teacher said "K you should speak to your mum about this, or I can talk to her for you"

K said that she would be OK and then changed her mind and the teacher told my sister.

So the ball is rolling and I did intially think was her girlfriend "R" in some way behind it.

But when I was told that she told my sister when K poured milk away instead of drinking it. I knew she wasn't.

The other week I did thank R for what she was doing and the words K was saying weren't really meant, but R said that she had put a wall up agianst them.

To me this proves how much she loves my niece.

My niece is now on a high calorie diet to put on weight (6 meals a day 3 main and 3 snacks).

R was telling me we need to watch her after she eats as she goes into the bathroom after meals, I imitated sticking my fingers down my throat (my niece was in the kitchen) R said no she goes in to exercise, which is something she must NOT do. But in a caravan this will be hard to do undected.

So as it stands she is coming on holiday with us as R has started a new job and will not be able to supervise her when she's at work, and she cannot be trusted to be on her own, so her brother is in charge of her food and making sure she eats at the right times.

When we do go on holiday we have to be careful if we go out for a meal as K need to see the menu in advanced to she what she can eat (she gets into a flap otherwise), so at other times she will cook her food with her brother.

I do have a question on Anorexia is is similar to alcoholicism where by you have it for life?

Damien 06-08-2018 22:45

Re: Anorexia
 
You might have more luck on a dedicated anorexia/eating disorder forum?

Alternatively, maybe even more wisely, would be a charity with information and a phone line: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org....rting-somebody

Taf 07-08-2018 17:32

Re: Anorexia
 
Anorexics are either "Active" or "In Remission" according to a pamphlet I read years ago. So on a par with alcoholism I suspect.

pip08456 07-08-2018 18:18

Re: Anorexia
 
Anorexics can be very devious in covering up what they are doing. It is a very complicated mental health problem. I would not put it on a per with alcoholism, it's much worse and more debillatating.

I suggest you watch the Karen Carpenter Story linked below to get a better understanding.


Dude111 07-08-2018 19:13

Im so sorry shes going thru this and I hope things get better hom3r https://www.cableforum.uk/images/local/2018/08/1.gi

Hom3r 10-08-2018 20:37

Re: Anorexia
 
My sister told my mum that she's been skipping breakfasts.

She told her brother that she had eaten them.

So on tuesday my sister has a meeting with a doctor, as she's has lost weight.

So it looks like she'll be admitted to a "Hospital"

Dude111 11-08-2018 20:49

Maybe she doesnt like the taste of things??

I wonder if getting her eating Organic food would be better??


I went thru 8 or 9 months when I hardily ate anything,I HAD NO DESIRE FOR THIS CRAPPY GMO FOOD!!! -- I started having stomach problems,digestion issues,etc.......... Then I read how GMO food is making alot of ppl sick... Thank goodness I found a whole foods store and I only eat organic now....... Its more expensive but its better food....

I wonder if she has the same issues/concerns Hom3r??

pip08456 11-08-2018 22:17

Re: Anorexia
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dude111 (Post 35958987)
Maybe she doesnt like the taste of things??

I wonder if getting her eating Organic food would be better??


I went thru 8 or 9 months when I hardily ate anything,I HAD NO DESIRE FOR THIS CRAPPY GMO FOOD!!! -- I started having stomach problems,digestion issues,etc.......... Then I read how GMO food is making alot of ppl sick... Thank goodness I found a whole foods store and I only eat organic now....... Its more expensive but its better food....

I wonder if she has the same issues/concerns Hom3r??

Oh please! All you had to do was buy local instead of supermarkets.

Glad to see your neice is seeking help Hom3r.

Dude111 11-08-2018 23:45

Well I might not be able to find what I wanted locally and YES I hope she gets better :)

denphone 12-08-2018 07:01

Re: Anorexia
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by pip08456 (Post 35959015)
Oh please! All you had to do was buy local instead of supermarkets.

Glad to see your neice is seeking help Hom3r.

Easier said and done sadly pip as we had a fruit and veg shop and 2 butchers that closed in the past 2 years and what were they replaced with?

---------- Post added at 06:01 ---------- Previous post was at 06:00 ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hom3r (Post 35958805)
My sister told my mum that she's been skipping breakfasts.

She told her brother that she had eaten them.

So on tuesday my sister has a meeting with a doctor, as she's has lost weight.

So it looks like she'll be admitted to a "Hospital"

l hope she gets well Hom3r as its better to get help before its too late.

Hom3r 12-08-2018 09:27

Re: Anorexia
 
Nah, my niece loves/loved food, she was chocolate mad.


I think it's the end of the road for her and her GF. they've not seen each other for a week, and my niece say's she has't missed her.

But does she really, and could this make the situation worse.

As it stands unless she is admitted next week she will be comming on holiday with us, but we will measure all the food, she eats not her.


Talking to my mum I felt bad in saying "I hope she does get admitted as it could be the best option."

weenie 12-08-2018 16:49

Re: Anorexia
 
Maybe just maybe your niece is missing her GF and because of her illness she is thinking that if she is not around it's one less person watching her as it is my understanding of Anorexia that many sufferers push people away who try to help, sadly it can be loved ones that get pushed away first, as many sufferers of this illness try and do isolate themselves as much as they can, maybe this is what your niece is thinking/doing right now (one less person watching her) as atm sadly her illness is likely in control going by what you have said Hom3r :(

Your niece may be fed up with R telling the family stuff and while this was done with the very best intentions
I suspect your niece won't see it like this at all.

Hom3r 12-08-2018 19:11

Re: Anorexia
 
My niece and R have broken up.

I don't know the full story, but I this R has a lot on her plate.

She move from her hometown of Glasgow, to start a new career and to be close to my niece.

She didnt enjoy her time as cabin crew as she spent more time on stand-by than flying, so she left and got a job which pays £200 more than her rent.

On top of missing her mum, my niece not taking it to well sometimes when R was making her eat and drink, and telling her mum, might taken it toll on her.

But my sister and me will make sure R is ok.

Dude111 13-08-2018 00:22

Im so sorry Hom3r :(

weenie 13-08-2018 13:28

Re: Anorexia
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hom3r (Post 35959130)
My niece and R have broken up.

I don't know the full story, but I this R has a lot on her plate.

She move from her hometown of Glasgow, to start a new career and to be close to my niece.

She didnt enjoy her time as cabin crew as she spent more time on stand-by than flying, so she left and got a job which pays £200 more than her rent.

On top of missing her mum, my niece not taking it to well sometimes when R was making her eat and drink, and telling her mum, might taken it toll on her.

But my sister and me will make sure R is ok.

I'm sorry that your niece and her GF have split up but maybe this could be a blessing as trust is the main thing IMO in any relationship and as you have stated Hom3r your niece has become at times devious and has been caught telling lies, which is not uncommon with an eating disorder.

I can only imagine what your all going through atm and my heart breaks for everyone involved as everyone who has a relationship with your niece atm whether that be a parent, brother, sister or partner sadly more than likely she will tell fibs with saying yes I've eaten this, yes I've drunk this etc The important thing here is to try and remember this is the illness talking not your niece.

The pressure on R must have been tremendous for such a young person in a fairly new relationship and she must have felt at times between a rock and a hard place in what do, does she break her partner's trust and say to the family her concerns or does she keep quiet! It must have been so hard for her also witnessing the person she loves change in so many ways. I think until your niece gets her ED under control, then I'm afraid after watching the Karen Carpenter Story the only relationship that someone under the control of a ED will have is with food :(

If it was me and my child then I would try and get in a family support group in where I could take their brother's, sister's, Uncle, Aunts etc, keep a diary on what my loved is doing and how the ED is affecting both them and family, speak weekly if need be to my Gp to raise my concerns and worries plus I would not let the person know what I was doing for fear of more secret behaviour.

Quote:

Talking to my mum I felt bad in saying "I hope she does get admitted as it could be the best option.
Don't feel bad as you only want the best for your niece and that is plain to see Hom3r, you need to realise that your not only worried for your niece but also for your sister and in my book that makes you a caring Uncle & Brother :hugs:


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