Re: Nightmare of a night
 

I'm not surprised your father is having a hard time , he has lost a partner of many years just as you and your sister have lost a mother. It is a difficult time for all of you more so when it comes to making the funeral arrangements as that suggests a moment of finality.

The next week or so is going to be especially difficult as all these details have to be sorted out. Inside you are going to be hurting like hell but outside you have to appear to be strong to support you father, sister and the rest of the family.

Once everything is resolved make sure you take the time to mourn in whatever way is best for you. We are all different in how we that but we all need to.

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

Thanks for the messages guys, my mum and dad where married for 54 years, this year was only the second anniversary they did go for a meal, but I was able to take him and sit outside with her.

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

On Tuesday the 13th of October we laid my mum to rest, my sister and I chose a lovely spot which is a double plot so when my dad's time comes he will join her.

But because of coronavirus restrictions, only 30 people are allowed, but do to some family having to shield, self isolate or just getting back from furlough only 16 people attended.

My dad, myself, sister, brother in-law, nephew & niece left form my hose to the cemetery in the limo, after we had a drink.

The woman doing the funeral (not a minister) read what my dad, myself, sister, aunt & uncle had written, but my niece got through her tears and read her message with her brother holding her hand.

There was one light bit and that was playing the Elvis song, Are you lonesome tonight - the laughing version, which people did enjoy.

After this all 16 of us stood at at the graveside, and in typical funeral weather it as raining and the ground getting muddy, but that didn't matter as we through 6 red roses on her coffin.

The guys driving out limo were excellent and help my dad walk from the car to the grave side and stand as he through his rose in, he even gave his umbrella to my dad to keep dry as he got wet.

Afterward we chatted briefly to family and then the 6 of us came back home and had a cuppa, later we had a huge Chinese meal and more drinks, and chatted about our mum.

So my sister's family had to get 2 cabs home because cabs cannot have people in the front.

I get some moment were I feel teary.

We have said to family that coronavirus permitting we will have a family get together close to her birthday next August.

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

Wishing you well Hom3r.

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

l can only echo those same thoughts as my thoughts are with you Hom3r.

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

Sorry for your loss, Hom3r and I share others compassionate wishes.

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

Sending you a virtual :ghugs: Take care of your father he will really need your support.

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

Another virtual hug from me Hom3r. If you need us you know you have friends on CF who are here to have a quiet chat if you need us.

Jo xx

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

Glad everybody who could attend were able to. Our thoughts are with you.

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

A follow up to this.

If things can't get any worse.

The other day my dad had problems with the TiVo remote as he couldn't remember what to press and as he was stress he couldn't get his words out, but he calmed down and was OK.

On Wednesday my sister was talking to him and his speech started to stutter (He had a stutter when he met my mum, but she managed to get him to control it) so my sister said to call 999, which I did, they turned up and did the stroke tests but this didn't seem to be the case, they managed to speak to our GP and arranged for a District Nurse to come and take bloods.


She arrived at 10:30 and did the bloods, just before 6pm I had just taken some baguettes out of the oven when the Dr called and said one of the tests was positive for a clot, and we should go to A&E straight away.

So sitting in A&E waiting (While there a guy was bought in who clearly had Covid-19, but was whisked away).

A doctor saw us, and he believes my dad had a transient ischaemic attack (TIA) or "mini stroke", which based on the stress in the last year I'm not surprised, he said that an appointment will be made for us to go to Romford's Queens hospital for a scan and gave us some Aspirin to help, we didn't get home until midnight.

So now we play the waiting game.

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

Oh sweetie I am so sorry to hear your news. You and your family have not had an easy time. Sending you all virtual hugs. xx

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

Sorry for your loss. We wish you the best in these tough times

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

Bad luck with Queens... :(

Hope it all goes well though :tu:

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

Really sorry for your loss Hom3r. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Take care.

Re: Nightmare of a night
 

l can only echo the same sentiments to Hom3r as all the other posters here.