Crush at work
 

Hello!

So here is this weeks topical question..... Has anyone got or had a crush at work and have you done anthing about it ?

Does it affect your life ?

You know what I mean..... You now look forward to going to work. You now spend more time in one department and make excuses to go down there.
You pretend the job takes twice as long just to spend time with someone.

And deep in your heart you know that you are at work, that you shouldnt be thinking this way and you know they may not have feelings for you, but you still can't help but go see them and look forward to seeing them at work.

I'm in a situation liket that at the moment. There is one girl I always go and see and will go out of my way to go down to her department to see her.
I'll put off one job to do her job instead. It's strange.
It helps that I'm not married and not already tied to a relationship at the moment but it is always daunting.

Do you tell them, risk a friendship, keep on working with them everyday and know it could get tricky if you fall out.

What are everyones experiences ?

Re: Crush at work
 

Just ask her out man!!

Take the bull by the horns!

She will know you fancy her anyway, and so will everyone else, so just do it!

Re: Crush at work
 

I lost my cherry with an older woman I worked with I was very grateful I was 18 and thought I was gonna die a virgin lol

Re: Crush at work
 

I asked my crush at work out. She was a bit taken aback but with some, out of character persistance, she agreed to go out for a meal.

That was 8 years ago and 2 kids and 1 marriage later suggests it went OK. It was the best thing I ever did plucking up the courage to ask she who must be obeyed out. I've since reverted to my usual yellow streak down the back characteristic. ;)

My concern at the time was losing a valued friend because I enjoyed her company. It couldn't have worked out better for me.

Re: Crush at work
 

Been out with loads of girls from work, some colleagues some staff... Only once caused problem.

You only tell them if you think its mutual, easily find out while your chatting say your going for a beer at lunch and do they fancy it..

Re: Crush at work
 

Bromide will soon make it go away

Re: Crush at work
 

LOL Sounds like it must have been a top night.



Yep I think she knows. Others know I spend time going to see her. It's crazy. She's so hot as well. Ahhhhhhh, I think she only wants to be friends though so it is so fustrating. I love joking around with her. She's so much fun.

Re: Crush at work
 

I ended up marrying the guy I worked for too.
He saw me as a challenge, and won me round!

We may be scaring you now.......best to take Firemans advice!

Re: Crush at work
 

Sounds good Lucy. You seem a happy lady so it seems it can work out.


Noted. Will buy some tomorrow. lol



Yes, and with women it is so hard to read signs.
Still we only live once don't we. So you have to chance it.

Re: Crush at work
 

I dated every girl on my floor at work apart from the ugly one. :cool:

Re: Crush at work
 

lol

There is more to love than looks Mr DRZ400.

I'm sure Mr LoveMonkey has had a few tales at work. Where is he these days.

I need to stop drinking and stop thinking about this girl! Agggh!

Re: Crush at work
 

I fancy a woman where I work, but don't have the bottle to ask her out, she is a friend in facebook. She is on a scale of 1 to 10, a 30.

She says hi everytime we pass, but then agian she does this to everyone.

Re: Crush at work
 

Mine isn't such a good story, but we became friends when he was coming to the end of his 10 year relationship and I had just split up with th e ex-hubs about 6 years ago. It was easy to see there was an attraction, but we were both carrying so much baggage.

Anyway, we dated and after a little while at a mutual friends wedding it all came to an abrupt end. We went our separate ways for a little while but realised we missed each other. Anyway, we became friends again and eventually ended up sharing a house together. This was not such a good idea because occasionally we crossed the line and then we'd have HUGE arguments when things looked like settling into a 'relationship' again.

I decided to get out and buy my own place and he got his own also and we stayed friends for a while. We seem to have a happy medium now
where we spend time together and either of us stays at the others' house mainly at weekends. We go on holidays, concerts, go the zoo - all fun things and very rarely disagree. We don't really see each other through the week due to work commitments. I think the problem for both of us is commitment after getting out of such long term relationships - so there is my story.

I stand by what the others say though, you'll never know otherwise and will always regret it. That said, i'm pretty happy with how things are now - just not sure if its enough to keep me happy long term.

Re: Crush at work
 

Yeah women can be like that I think. She's on my facebook too and likes when I come give her things or help her out, compliment her, but sometimes doesnt respond to hints which makes me wonder if she is maybe not too interested and prefers friendship.
She dresses really sexy too. Cant stop glancing over when I pass her. It must be so obvious but I just cant help it.

Re: Crush at work
 

Those women who say hi to everyone who pass them by........shame on them!

:);)

Re: Crush at work
 

when I used to work at a major supermarket there was a guy I used to really like, and we were very touchy feely - even on the shopfloor! Despite the fact his girlfriend (now wife I believe) could walk in at any moment.

being an anti-social person though I never got the chance to make a tit of myself at any drunken nights out, which is probably just as well, else I might not be married to Anton now! :p:


I used to go to gigs a lot, sometimes staying in the same hotels *cough* nothing ever happened like that, honest, (ok, once) though once one of my major crushes said to me 'I do like you you know' which took me so by surprise it really freaked me out and I ran away! blew my chances there big time.

I don't know if I ever told Anton that, he already hates the singer of same band, :LOL:

Re: Crush at work
 

I too married the woman I worked with, we got on well from the 1st day I started, became good friends over a couple of years, managed to get the courage and the rest is history as they say. :D

Re: Crush at work
 

glad you made it zing,my god what a way to die.;)

Re: Crush at work
 

I'm engaged to my 'crush' from work :)

Re: Crush at work
 

Sounds like some success stories. We only live once so I'm thinking I should just go for it.
Now is asking her to go for a meal too much or is that OK?

It's good it is the weekend. I need time t think this through.

Re: Crush at work
 

Perhaps just take her out for a coffee one lunch time or something, or maybe a drink one evening?

I'd save dinner for a different time.

Dinner's great, but it ties the two of you together in a small space for the length of the meal. At least a coffee is short (half hour at most) and a series of drinks is only as long as however many drinks you decide you want to have together.

With those two if you decide that it's not working the way you thought it would, if you've nothing to say to each other, of if you're just not getting on, you don't have to stay together once the drink is done with.

Re: Crush at work
 

HHHmmm I had a crush on someone at work. I married her too.

That was pretty much the worst thing I've ever done. BUT I do have a lovely son now so it wasn't all bad :)

Re: Crush at work
 

Just ask her out to the cinema or for a drink..nothing heavy and see where it goes from there.

Nice to think that you are getting over your last girlfriend but remember rebound romances don't always work out.Be extra cautious.;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Thanks Incog. I know what you mean. I just want to see where it goes. Don't want to rush anything too quickly, just see where things go. It's been a strange past few months of constant breaking feelings so it's time for a fresh start.

Thanks for everyones replies :tu:

Re: Crush at work
 

and the common denominator in the failure of all of those???.. you. oh.

Re: Crush at work
 

From a womans point of view, I would say take her out for a meal, shows you are really interested. Its a more relaxed envioment than a bar.
You spend time choosing food, looking at menus, a chance to talk about food if nothing else pops in to your mind!!

Aother great first time date is bowling, if shes a fun girl and you are a fun guy, its always a laugh, unless your competitive streak comes out that is!:)

Re: Crush at work
 

Its soooooooo much easier to start by emailing.

Re: Crush at work
 

I have mixed views on e-mailing. OK Yes it gets you communicating but this can often lead to a difference in things. By that I mean you can have flirty messages by e-mail but then a completly normal conversation in real life.
I know it can be a way to get to talkto her but I don't think asking someone out by email may work with all girls.

Re: Crush at work
 

Without offending anyone, how old is this girl? Its just that girls of a certain age are used to communicating by facebook, email, text etc and it might just work.

Also, it could save any embarassment for you should she say no. I think you've gotta take the bull by the horns so to speak and ask this girl out sooner rather than later, as someone else might come along in the meantime. And there's nothing worse than having regrets ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

She's 32.

Re: Crush at work
 

Oooh.....a woman then!

What about arranging a staff night out, and then make your move on her!!

I have lots more cunning plans up my sleeve if you want, my kids (adults!) are telling me them!!

Re: Crush at work
 

LOL

Done the staff night out... Bought her some Champagne though it's always hard to get time alone when with so many people.

I have a funny feeling all this is going to go wrong as I think she might want to only be friends. If only I could see into women's minds.

Re: Crush at work
 

Can you put your finger on what makes you think that - give us girlies something to go from and maybe we can help. NEVER try to work out a woman's mind, often its hard enough for us to understand the things we say/do :D

Re: Crush at work
 

Best advice I've heard in a long time!

Re: Crush at work
 

easy way to find out . Just tell her you fancy her and see what she does or you could say " I think you have a cracking arse" ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

So right biatch!!!:)

Re: Crush at work
 

specially if your blonde lol

Re: Crush at work
 

Watch it matey, us blondes will gang up on you!;)

Re: Crush at work
 

dont waste your time threatening me just do me ;) :D

Re: Crush at work
 

In your dreams :D :D

Re: Crush at work
 

Good points:

- She is always in a smiley happy mood.
- She asks me to do jobs for her.
- She doesnt mind me coming to talk to her.
- She's on my facebook page.
- We have things in common.
- We've shared chocolate together.
- She knows I like her.

Bad points:

- I go to see her, She doesnt come to see me. Although this could be becuase I'm never in the same place at work.
- She never gives clear signals. If she knows I like her she is not doing anything about it.
- We sometimes cross eyes passing and I don't know what she's thinking.

Re: Crush at work
 

Swing both ways ;):D

Re: Crush at work
 

Right ok, i've been that girl you're talking about and been accused of giving out mixed signals so I think you need to come clear now. The good points far outweigh the bad ones so go for it. You never know, she might be an old fashioned gal who would never ask a man out ;)

EDIT: for the record I am brunette :p

Re: Crush at work
 

That must be a lie, there's no brunettes in Liverpool :D

Re: Crush at work
 

I am the exception ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Best advice I can give is to buy her loads of stuff like drinks, chocolate and whatever. then at the end of the night tell her that she owes you know. any real woman would know that anyway :)

I've never had to resort to that as it's them that want to buy me everything. anyone would think they were trying to buy me :)

Re: Crush at work
 

I hope you're single and no woman was stupid enough to take you if that's how you think.

Re: Crush at work
 

I thought this thread was gonna be about compensation advise.
It could still end up that way i suppose:)

Re: Crush at work
 

You're my mates sister. she hasn't got a sense of humour either :D
She was a good moaner too.

Re: Crush at work
 

You probably get that a lot from girls.... ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Only ugly people say that.

Re: Crush at work
 

I'm surprised you have mates :p:

Re: Crush at work
 

Ask her out for lunch as a means to getting her alone to talk to her. A simple request to take the lady out to lunch to chat is probably easier for you and her.

She may well be wondering why you haven't asked her out yet so to asking her out now may get her flustered and catch her off gaurd.... whereas a lunch is a chance to communicate without interruption.

Over lunch tell her you actually wanted to ask her out but wasn't sure how she'd react. Tell her if she wants to just be friends, that's fine but if she'd like a night out to see how you get on with each other outwith the work situation that'd be even better.

Be honest with her and remind yourself that you have got a lot to offer.

As Tennyson said. Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

As ABBA said. Take a chance:) Good luck and keep us posted.

Re: Crush at work
 

... from which I would conclude that she enjoys your attentions but isn't interested in taking things any further. Sorry ...

Re: Crush at work
 

At my first workplace there were 2 young women - I had crushes on both of them (different times of course) - I went out with one of them for the best part of a year, and married the other one...


so be careful of what you start :)

Re: Crush at work
 

Well I thought it was time to give an update on this situation......

I put off asking her for a few weeks as I was really busy at work but finally did on Thursday and she wants to go out for a drink next week.
No idea how things will turn out but even if we end up being just friends I'm happy.
After the last few depressing months, I feel like this is a breath off fresh air!

If you are in the same situation as me, go for it!

Re: Crush at work
 

:tu: be good ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Great news, have a wonderful time :)

(SB starts dusting off the hat :D)

Re: Crush at work
 

and if you cant be good be careful lol

Re: Crush at work
 

And if you can't be careful, make sure you get a DNA test..... ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Well done. Your attitude is spot on. I hope is all goes well.

Re: Crush at work
 

Thanks for the erm... tips. lol

I will be meeting her with a wireless webcam strapped to my head and a hidden microphone so you can all follow the action live on the forums. ;)


Seriously though, I'll give you all an update later in the week.
Now I need to go buy some new clothes I think.

Thanks for everyones advice. :tu: If you are in the same situation as me, then go for it. As others have said its better to know than never know what your life could become.

Re: Crush at work
 

Dont go, its a trap !!!!! LOL

Re: Crush at work
 

Good luck on your date.

Don't forget the dental floss to get rid of unwanted hair. ;) :)

Re: Crush at work
 

https://www.cableforum.co.uk/images/...2009/04/67.jpg

:D

Re: Crush at work
 

Ah, good old Admiral Ackbar - you'll be fine knowing that he's got your back :D

Re: Crush at work
 

1. She said Yes she's like to go for a date. I said I'd Email her details.

2. I sent her the email Monday.

3. No reply as yet.

:(

Re: Crush at work
 

Is she on holiday? (it being Easter).

Re: Crush at work
 

https://www.cableforum.co.uk/images/...2009/04/30.gif

:)

Re: Crush at work
 

Gary, you're being a bigger Richard than usual - give it up, please?

Re: Crush at work
 

Who's Richard?

Re: Crush at work
 

She said she was going away next week but with only an email to contact her on, I have nothing.
She's not updated her facebook either.

Think I'l give her until tonight as frankly I'm sick of women playing with my mind and then letting everything go from great to nothing just out of the blue.

Re: Crush at work
 

Best to move on then....

Join a gym or a religious organization, plenty of fine fillies in both !!!

(Sorry! ) Get back out with your mates and have a good laugh with them. :)

Re: Crush at work
 

he or she means dick, its another name for Richard :)

Re: Crush at work
 

Never give up, Never surrender!

I am not giving up just as yet. I'l see what she says as if she is noit messing me around, she is worth waiting for.

It's just fustrating lol.

Re: Crush at work
 

Oh, thanks.
I dread to think what name he would use if I was a woman :)

Re: Crush at work
 

What a quitter, have you not heard the saying faint heart never won fair lady

Re: Crush at work
 

If she hasn't replied to your email or updated her facebook I would hazard a good guess she hasn't accessed her personal interwebclickthingy as of yet.

When the facebook gets updated and you still get no reply then you can be a tad concerned and goto plan B.

Re: Crush at work
 

Ahhhhhh, When will people realise that these days people SHOULD check their email once a minute.

Re: Crush at work
 

Or even rhyming - Richard the Third?

Re: Crush at work
 

Lets stick to the topic shall we :)

Re: Crush at work
 

I'm not quitting. I'm even more determined!

It's just fustrating having to wait and wait to make things happen.

Re: Crush at work
 

I think she's not been in contact with anyone, going by what you said about her facebook. Give the girl sometime, she may be nervous also ;)

I'd like to think that if she didn't have any feelings at all for you, she'd let you know (i had to do his recently). Its not nice, but at least you know where you stand :)

Re: Crush at work
 

Yeah I would hope so. She's a nice girl so I would hope she wouldnt string people along.

Re: Crush at work
 

I'd agree, some might also conclude that she may see you as someone in a postion of power...and like to have your attention. Are you in IT, fixing stuff on her PC?

def dont engage in email and always reply ages after, but not too long...dont appear easy or desperate. email can easily offer false hope. maybe that's what she's doing now.

if she updates her facebook and not email you the same night, you're ****ed! unfortunetly for you I don't mean her. In that incase, hack into her PC in work and delete random work files...and rows/cells out of ramdom XLS files ;) Then get her sacked so you dont have see her mug everyday! scratch her car, if she drives ;) -stick some nails under her tyres or maybe some itching powder on her work chair, hopefully it's fabric chair.


oh, I was asked out by a fellow worker.... we're celebrating our 15th year together this year! I think most people meet their spouse in work, or in a geeky club of some kind...so all this is natural.

One tip for you and others in your situation - just don't **** the office whore, you might catch AIDS!

Re: Crush at work
 

wow, I really don't know what to say to that except, I hope Halcyon has the good sense to ignore any advice in that post.

Re: Crush at work
 

Well, not all of it, the last sentence is fairly relevant ;)

Halcyon, mate, in my opinion just chill a little, que sera, sera & being pushy may push things the wrong way - I do wish you both all the best, though :)

Re: Crush at work
 

He's probably got the sense to see that it was humour.
But he does need to get her back though :D :)

Re: Crush at work
 

You mean me going down the local garage tonight to buy some nails, a can of petrol and deleting her photos off her Pc and replacing them with LOL Cat pics was a bad idea ?

;)

Nope, not going for that approach just as yet, or possibly ever.

I'm going to try and chill. I did mention originally to her "some time in the holidays" so didnt make it clear but hoped it would be this week as I think she is off to visit her sister next week.
We'l see how it goes. Love is strange. You can't sto thinking about the person, however hard you try.

Time to chill out, and get some sleep I think.

Re: Crush at work
 

I've stopped thinking about Superbiatch already, so it is possible :)

Re: Crush at work
 

Aaah but you have the attention span of a goldfish :D:p:

Re: Crush at work
 

That has Alzheimers, ADHD, and hasn't renewed its Ritalin prescription..:D :) ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Oh no people we have a bleeder! .... he used the LOVE word! I think you're still in the attraction stage...or possible even stalking stage!

I recommend going out on the town and getting laid, quick! (you know my advice, use a condom! freaking **** out there ;) )

Re: Crush at work
 

LOL It's OK, I'm not that desperate.

The word LOVE was to describe the whole thing. I know it isnt love as yet. At the moment it is attraction and that feeling where you just want to be with that person because they make you feel so happy.

Time to just wait and see where things go.

Re: Crush at work
 

And after attraction comes LUST - my fave bit :romance:

Re: Crush at work
 

It's called lust :)

Oh, someone already said it :D

---------- Post added at 11:30 ---------- Previous post was at 11:25 ----------

Then you start taking it all for granted, and get fed up of the sight of each other eventually :)

Re: Crush at work
 

You missed out the bit involving the photocopier. ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

To me lust is all about looking forward to seeing each other, waiting for the phone to ring, doing outrageous/spontaneous stuff together and having a great time with lots of s£x! Unfortunately its the bit that follows I struggle with beginning with L :erm:

Mr Gary L - you are such a cynic! Let your hair down and have some fun :D

---------- Post added at 11:35 ---------- Previous post was at 11:34 ----------

Read my next post - outrageous and spontaneous easily cover this an a multitude of other things ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Ok, when can we start?
how far through the lust one till the love stage comes, are you? ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Unfortunately I don't play the game ;)