Cable Forum - how can someone do this ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by adoption-net.co.uk

A large appealing photograph of a four-month-old baby dominated a page of the The Times yesterday as the hunt for his mother, who abandoned the infant a few hours after his birth, drew to a close.

She had until yesterday to claim the blond-haired baby boy before he was adopted. She didn't show - but then the mothers of abandoned babies rarely do.

The Times featured the story of William Redhill as part of a larger feature Last year some 50 children under the age of two (although mostly newborns) were abandoned by the mothers - a number that has trebled in the past decade.

But as The Times asks, in an age where there are few stigmas surrounding illegitimacy and with numerous couples anxious to adopt, what drives a woman to abandon her child?

Many could be teenage mothers from repressive households or teenagers who do not realise they are pregnant until they give birth.

Others could be older mothers who conceive as the result of an extramarital affair.

The paper talks to Heather Bacon, a consultant clinical psychologist at Brompton House health centre in North Yorkshire, who says that for many mothers, abandonment of a child can leads serious to mental and emotional problems because the secrecy involved means the woman has no chance of working through the devastating feelings of loss and guilt that can follow.

Chief Executive of After Adoption in Manchester Maureen Crank agrees and told Adoption-net that many are too scared to come forward after abandoning babies fearing they could be prosecuted - it is a criminal offence to abandon a baby but, these days, mothers are rarely prosecuted.

"As time goes by it becomes increasingly difficult," she said. "We had one women who abandoned her child 15 or 20 years ago and she was totally devastated and had agoraphobia.

She pointed to countries such as Korea and China who have an on-going amnesty campaign for women who have abandoned their children to encourage more to come forward - if only to help their children when they become adults and want to know about their background.

Full Story here

We cannot Judge anyone who abandons a baby. Sad as it may be, and alien to most of us, we are not there, we do not understand, we do not feel what they feel.

Abandoning is usually the LAST resort in a terrible situation. The idea of amnesty (as in China) is a good idea, but there is also the fear of being judged.

We should not criticise what we cannot understand, the mother must have been going through her own personal hell.