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Re: The NINE Word Story
Only way to get money out of a Yorkshire man.
:D |
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Unless one is a Scotsman who are quite tight.:D
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The next day a scotsman asked a chap if
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he wanted to see what was under his kilt
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The man replied YES but disappointedly a Chipolata appeared......
Jo swiftly exits stage right :Sprint: |
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along with 2 slices of bacon and sliced mushrooms
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So, he kept a full Scottish in his sporran
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He was especially keen on the old black pudding.
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which was the nickname of Sam a redheaded Irishman
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..from Wales. Sam liked nothing more than to take...
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liberties by admitting he was a Jim Cornette guy…
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who kept giving away his Kayfabe secrets to all
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the ladies who waited for him at the stagedoor
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...were put into a full nelson before an autograph.
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now they are all waiting to give vital evidence ...
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...even though they admittedly enjoyed every bit of it.
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But the possible payout was way way to attractive
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a passing claims lawyer to pass up as it
(claims lawyers aren't really people are they?) |
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contained a very attractive and substantial Stage 2 offer
(from a real life Claims Paralegal) |
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stage 2 paid for paying stage 1. Only lawyers
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wondering how to continue and not offend darling Russ .....
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Or anybody else while you are at it Jo.;)
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Little old moi? surely you jest. I'm renowed for .......
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bacon sandwiches and a nice hot cup of tea
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followed by a 4.30am session at the gym and
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another bacon sandwich and a protein bar with chocolate
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And after that another run for around 20 miles.
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he realised his addiction to bacon is a problem
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Bacon gives him a problem with flatulence as well.
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but he does not care he likes the smell
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But his wife seems not to like the stink.
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yet she is the one always cooks the bacon
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.....'cause the smelly results keeps his groupies at bay.
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and his furred arteries will kill him soon enough
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And if that don't kill him his wife will.
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which is why she bacon greases the bread first
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She also bacon greases her body all the time....
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and does other things you wouldnt wanna know. One
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...time, about three weeks ago, she hired someone to...
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go to band camp and do things with clarinets
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but he chose to enlist the strapping bassoonist because ....
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He is very very good at what he does
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known as the buffoon on the bassoon he was
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never the same after he had his minuet orchestrated
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Playing at a mile a minuet was totally ezhausing
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Especially Berlioz’s cantata "Le Chant des Chemins de Fer"
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he realises trainspotting is a very dull pass time
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One needs a pen and pad to do Trainspotting.
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But he likes to just spot not document though
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which haridly anyone understands why. ON the 15th he
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finally had enough of being so dull and jumped
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for joy the orient express is coming tomorrow afternoon
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getting murdered on orient express might make him interesting
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Especially with the incompetent Inspector Clouseau on his tail.
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This tail was almost as mysterious as the crime
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of the century, a very good seventies Supertramp album.
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Those were the days of flares and much merriment.
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Especially at football matches with the Italian Ultra fans
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so avoid trains,take a jumbo across the water
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to have Breakfast in America, another excellent Supertramp album.
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Much rather have "The dark side of the moon".
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there is no dark side of the moon really
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sang the man who believed the Earth was flat.
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Or the lady who said the earth is hexagonal.;)
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She was well renowned for being completely six mad
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and totally over worked and just was not doing
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that thing that really is not mentioned in polite
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words is how people often misuse stuff and always
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Its not the first time if one rightly remembers.
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This story is no longer sense Ichabod Crane said
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but ever was it thus. Words no longer meant
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anything more than we need unicorns in our lives.
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Unicorns in pink lycra unitards always make me smile.
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Unless those unicorns are in orange and black unitards.
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Getting mistaken for tigers when big game hunters are
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looking for stand ins for Frosties commercials on TV
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especially when their names were Snap, Crackle and Pop.
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or was that just body noise when standing up
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Don't worry as Tigger, Rajah and Vitaly are arriving.
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but none can hold a torch to Captain Caveman
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because he is very flammable being covered in hair
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This big caveman loved wearing his shaggy animal hide.
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"O-errr, missus" said Kenneth Williams, archly raising an eyebrow...
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then all you could hear was Sid James laugh
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And Charles Hawtrey was behind him sniggering even more.
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Then on comes Babs Windsor with her baps out
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My oh my that must have been a sight.
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yeah they were double bacon egg and sausage baps
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One suspects they went down like a real treat.
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They would have done but she forgot the ketchup
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and other things she always liked on it. So
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Feet in ketchup never really turned me on much
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What? was all I could say to that sentence
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Whereas a footbath with mustard, bats wings and the
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eye of newt, toe of frog, tongue of dog
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will make Birnam Wood go to Dunsinane Hill again
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and make him want to be just exactly like
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The famous clown who is just over the road.
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who was good to know,loads of free burgers
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You are thinking of his brother - we meant Pagliacci
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