Re: Crush at work
 

You know the saying.
you'll miss what you never had :)

Re: Crush at work
 

I've had it, but my life has taken a confusing turn in these last few years, if you read back a few pages - you'll see why.

Sorry for taking a bit off topic Halycon - any news today?

Re: Crush at work
 

Yes - The news is she can't make it this Friday. She mailed me.

Which means I have been looking forward to this and now as everything else in my life I get my hopes up for nothing.

Right now I'm emailing her and just going to be straight with it, tell her my feelings and that's it.
Then she will know and it's up to her.

I've had it with women! Complete nutters!

[Apart from the CF women ofcourse, I like you all]

Re: Crush at work
 

Nice save there Halcyon. :D

Don't give up on her yet, she may be feeling just as confused as you do. It's not easy having an office relationship and she may just be wary of actually taking the first step.

Re: Crush at work
 

Well I don't like being in this situation but the Email I'm going to send basically gives her the option to reply back and say: "I only want to be friends", or "Actually Yes, I'd still like to meet up and see where things go".

Re: Crush at work
 

H

that may be a little over-reacting.

Why not try something along the lines of "sorry you couldn't make it - when would be a good time?".

This leaves it open for her.

Re: Crush at work
 

From things she has said in the past she likes people to be upfront when asking someone out and seeing as this has dragged out for way too many months, I think maybe just setting the record strsaight and telling her my feelings may be a good idea. Tell her I wish we could get t know each other more, why I find her attractive, etc.

Re: Crush at work
 

Well don't be to disheartened if she chooses the friendship option.

I was given the same choice, opted for the friendship and then a few years later married the guy. Nearly 40 years of marriage later he's still my best friend.

Re: Crush at work
 

I personally wouldn't go too deep in telling her stuff. she might think it's too heavy and not want to bother after all. it's your first time with her. just have fun with her and see how it progresses after that. if she wants it to go any further she'll let you know. if she doesn't then don't despair, you can always do the revenge things suggested earlier :)

Re: Crush at work
 

Blimey - you must have got married young then ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

The thing is she knows and half the world around her know I like her. It's been obvious.
It's just I havent ever told her face to face or directly.

Re: Crush at work
 

But there's a difference (imho) between liking her and expressing deep feelings - it's OK at the beginning of a relationship to like someone and find them attractive, but to state anything more might be seen as being too "heavy", and wanting too much too soon (in an emotional sense).

Anyhoo, good luck.

Re: Crush at work
 

If your heavy and give her all your reasons why you fancy her you will blow it, don't forget you have had months and months of getting it all straight in your head and she may only just be thinking about you 'that' way..

Your gonna scare her off dude..

Take it easy, offer her another date and include your mobile number then she can contact you, women like nothing better to be chased but they get very very intrigued when you stop chasing..

It's her turn..

Re: Crush at work
 

Intrigued............ dont you mean relieved!!;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Ok how does this sound:

(Names and a few places details changed as it would be sods law she comes on here and reads it)

Re: Crush at work
 

Dont send it!!

Never put anything in writing, she may show it or send it on to others!

Personal chat would be better!

Re: Crush at work
 

Yeah but I dont have her number and Email is the only way.
I don't really mind if she shows others. I've nothing else to lose.

As women, would you think this letter is sounding ok?

I appreciate your help. :tu:

Re: Crush at work
 

I've used your letter with a few changes made, and sent it on to see if the reaction is a good or bad one.
I'll let you know what the women think :D

Re: Crush at work
 

OK here's my tuppennys' worth. I like the first paragraph and even if she shows it to anyone you just come over as a nice guy. I wouldn't use the last two paragraphs though as they are a bit over the top at this stage and mentioning staying friends if she doesn't want to go out with you just comes over defeatist.

Just add something like..

"I enjoy going out for a meal (pictures/whatever) and wondered if you would like to come with me."

Give her your phone number and ask her to ring you with her answer.

Re: Crush at work
 

Ok, I've got rid of:

I'll add the lines you reccomend. Thanks again :)

Re: Crush at work
 

A near on perfect answer!

---------- Post added at 15:35 ---------- Previous post was at 15:33 ----------



Do you get any work done Gary, working from home???;):)


Whoops where did i go wrong with that???? Wheres the work from home bit gone?

Re: Crush at work
 

Not as much as I should lately. I could do with dual monitors though :)

Re: Crush at work
 

I'm surprised you get any work done at all.
Gary L, Your'e Fired!

---------- Post added at 15:53 ---------- Previous post was at 15:47 ----------

Done, Email has been sent. It can only go down hill from here.

Re: Crush at work
 

Stop being so defeatist. You have come a long way in the last few months but you have to start having more faith in yourself. :)

Re: Crush at work
 

With the amount of crappiness and mess ups recently I've looked at relationships at only going pair shaped.
It's like I finally try and get over the mess up that was my last relationship where I hang on for two years trying to make it work but it didnt go anywhere and just made things so depressing that I couldnt sleep.

Meeting this new girl gave me hope of a new start.

I appreciate your kind words Jo and know that I should be more positive. I guess I need to remember that she did say yes when I asked her so that means something. Whether now she backs out again is another thing entirely.
Atleast she now knows in that e-mail that I like her.

I'll try to be more optimistic.


Crikey, this thread is getting long!

Re: Crush at work
 

Good luck halycon, the ladies on here have done you proud and we'll all be expecting an update as soon as received. Don't worry if its not today, us girlies like to think we're playing hard to get ;)

@ Gary L, i understand you are developing a fixation with me, but the feeling is not mutual :D :p: (thats the way you don't want your lady friend to reply halycon) ;).

Re: Crush at work
 

Is there any reason why you don't have her mobile? after months of 'flirting' and everyone knows you want to bang her, I would have thought she'd have given it to you.

Maybe there's a reason she hasn't given it you.

I wish you luck mate, but work relationships can be very dodgy and soul destroying, from what I've seen. I guarantee that all her friends will read your email.

One word of advice, is that if you do start conversing via email and then onto the dreaded SMS, then don't reply straightaway - show some control and leave it hours before replying, and for your own piece of mind don't reply to stuff before you goto bed. Leave it until morning.

And whatever you do don't wreck your job over a bird, try to seperate it as much as you can, considering, always keep and eye on your mortage/rent/beer/money/car payments/whatever. - pussy comes second.

Re: Crush at work
 

Nice!! :redcard:

Re: Crush at work
 

:LOL:

She's playing hard to get, halycon :D

Re: Crush at work
 

Speechless.........

Re: Crush at work
 

Definately a big :tu: to the ladies of the forum.
We need more people like you on here.
Will definately give some updates soon hopefully. Let's hope theyare good ones.



I guess I see her everyday so havent really asked for it. She is on my facebook anyway.
Yes everyone knows I want to be with her but when you are at work it's not easy to talk, especially where I work. So when we all go out such as last week it made it a little easier.



You and your talk of 'banging' can't really get you very far. :nono:

Re: Crush at work
 

Don't even go there! I've had this problem recently with the postie who picks up the franked mail from my office. After him asking me out I told him straight I wasn't interested, he took no notice. They i said had a BF and had just been on holiday with him, still no notice. If I tried the 'I'm a lesbian' stance I'm sure he'd just get off on it :D. There's only one thing left - i'm becoming a nun!

Re: Crush at work
 

Don't go there, please - how many will "get off" on a lesbian nun fantasy? ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

:banghead::cry::hyper::omg::disturbd:

Re: Crush at work
 

Yea Biatch, never, never tell a guy you are a lesbian, unless you are the butch type;)
His mind will go into overdrive!!

Re: Crush at work
 

That is true. shave your head Superbiatch! :)

Re: Crush at work
 

biatch, Tell him you are a shemale. Now that WILL put him off most likely.

But back to crushes, I wonder why some women, eg. the one I like who knows I like her don't just come out with it and say "No go. It's never going to happen" instead of enjoying the attnetion.
Is it just to make the chase more fun, do girls like to play with guys minds? I think so.
Let's hope that some are genuine and not crazy.

Re: Crush at work
 

Wouldn't bet on it :erm:

Re: Crush at work
 

You're the exception then :)

Re: Crush at work
 

How about i tell him that I'm not really into bald heads (not shaven but completely bald) or guys wearing school shorts for work, sitting in a local pub with real ales available and the most unappealing bit to me - he's in his 50's!!!

Now that may make me a bitch, but thats me and he might just get the message ;) (but i'm not that heartless :erm:). The hard bit is he's deaf so communication is strained to say the least, but he's just not my type at all!

Anyway, enough about my little issue and back to halycon - its his thread :)

Re: Crush at work
 

Yes, some girls will play with your mind, but if you think she is, is she one you should be seeking?
Us ladies all like a bit of attention, we would not be normal if we did not, but to screw with a guys head is just not on.

To be frank with you, I think she is not interested in going on a date with you, if she was, she would of taken you up on your offer and met up with you, or arranged another date if the date you suggested was not suitable for her.

I would move on.
Good things happen when you do not actively seek them!!

Re: Crush at work
 

Sorry, misread the thread - thought it was being suggested that superbiatch telling you she was a shemale would put you off the chase ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

That will make him even more interested and he will want to get into your habit even more.:D

Re: Crush at work
 

I see your point and if nothing comes of this e-mail I've sent her then I will move on. It's just all the signals were there, she said no problem to meeting up for a meal when I asked originally so I will hope and see if another day is possible.
To tell you the truth although she will now know I'm really into her, until last week I think she only thought I liked her in a joking way and that although I had feelings for her I wouldnt make a move. But now that I am, maybe she wants to play things slowly or see what she thinks of me first.

We got on really well so it would be a shame for it all to end.
I'd hope she would still want to be friends. It just feels like it could be so much more though.

Re: Crush at work
 

Unless she had something prearranged, like a family get together for easter...

---------- Post added at 17:22 ---------- Previous post was at 17:21 ----------

Make a complaint against him, he'll soon get the message ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Yes she is going away for easter to see her Mum and Dad.
I've suggested next week instead. We'l see. If it's a no then I pretty much know she isnt interested.
Plus now she knows my feelings for her. We'l see.

Re: Crush at work
 

I think thats a perfectly good excuse, do they live far away? Do you know info in much depth about her?

Re: Crush at work
 

Fair enough, I'd advise leaving her to it for the weekend now. Don't scare her off by emailing rubbish, just to entertain your own desires for her attention :) :)

But do make sure you have a chat with her when you'e both back in work after the weekend, a well timed coffee break...a convo as quick as poss so there isn't an dodgy air flying about! :)

Bare in mind that peeps will be talking all week, so this may put her off. So make sure you keep the contact genuine and pressure free.

Re: Crush at work
 

Yes, they live about [Goes to google maps] 200 miles away!

I want her soooooooooooooooooooooo much. On a scale of 1 to 10 she is 100.
It's not the looks (although she is hot), it's her sense of humour, her personality, she's very interesting.
:)


You will all soon be able to buy the book "Halcyon's Crazy Relationships" in all good book stores at the end of the month.

Re: Crush at work
 

it's def lust as a few weeks ago, she was only 30 on the 1-10 scale! now she's 100 on the 1-10 scale hmmmm! obesssed! very common indeed!

---------- Post added at 17:57 ---------- Previous post was at 17:55 ----------

ok, I'm paying way too much attention to this thread! :erm:

Re: Crush at work
 

LOL

Lust, Affection, Love, whatever you want to call it.... It all ends up together at one point.

Re: Crush at work
 

Tell her that women have messed you about and you don't want you heart ripped apart again.

or words to that efffect.

Thats why I'm single and living at home, my hearts been bust twice, and theres a nice big busted red head where I work and I don't have the plums to take it any further and as we will all be out of a job by the end of the year time running out sharpish.

My only options are ask her if we do a goodbye Stansted do, or via private message in facebook.

Re: Crush at work
 

U mental?

Women are no different from men, they want someone with confidence, someone they can have a laugh with, uncomplicated and someone that will look after them.

If someone said 'dont break my heart' I would think needy, too soft, and be more worried about upsetting them than enjoying my time with them.. Not worth the bother!

Hom3r - If you are 40 and have only had heart broken twice, think yourself lucky! Additionally if this lady is around the same age as you, is single and has the same sense of humour as you then stop buggering about, she is probably as lonely as you and would welcome the attention.

Halcyon - If it happens it happens, to be honest it sounds like your coming across as needy and too keen, major turn off..

Re: Crush at work
 

Hom3r, I totally know what you mean. I was dragged along a I want you/ I dont want you phase for way too long and then the last relationship I was in a few months ago...Well that was just a nightmare as I didnt want to let go but everytime we met it was painful and hurt so much. I had so many dreams and you could just watch them fading away.


Facebook could be a good way via a private message. I find that whilst a company do / party will let you socialise with that person more relaxed and out of work there are always too many people to have a private conversation.

At the end of the day she may say yes or she may say no.
But I felt the same about asking this girl out. I knew that not knowing was a feeling that atleast gave me hope. Now it's a feeling of I wish she says Yes or I didnt know as then it would feel not so bad..... BUT you have to take a chance otherwise you will never know. I have learnt that.

---------- Post added at 19:59 ---------- Previous post was at 19:24 ----------


That is how I feel when I describe my feelings for this person on here.
It doesnt mean I am sending her roses and standing outside her house with a banner saying "LOVE YOU" on it.
Ive just told her my feelings and that it would be good to go out. Nothing too big and committing.

Re: Crush at work
 

This has been a good read, an interesting thread. Some witty comments and good sound advice offered.
I would like to offer a little bit of advice that may be of some comfort Halcyon.
If all else fails and she spurns your advances, reach for the oil, shut your eyes and "wave" bye bye to her. At least she'll have put a smile on your face for a brief moment and onwards to the next beauty :o: :D ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

Re: Crush at work
 

Is that the noise you make?

Re: Crush at work
 

No

Re: Crush at work
 

I like this response, but whats the oil for?

Re: Crush at work
 

Re: Crush at work
 

LOL

Re: Crush at work
 

Where does the oil come into this then ?

Re: Crush at work
 

See above!!
The Scottish photo!!

---------- Post added at 22:24 ---------- Previous post was at 22:22 ----------

Halycon is just after a really long thread, he wants it as long as the God one!
:)

Re: Crush at work
 

Oh dear, I think at this rate we are going to need a Relationships, Dating, Counciling, and Get physical sub forum.
Keep your trousers on everyone!


Back on topic....

I've just been talking to my sister. She's a female and said that I shouldnt worry too much either about the Email and just wait and see.


The other night I whispered something into her ear as we came out the club and I was thinking it might be a good idea to E-mail her and tell her I still mean that.

Re: Crush at work
 

i.e. in the absence of someone else to help, one has the 'caberbility' to amuse oneself :D

Re: Crush at work
 

I think it's if she's not answering the doorbell then go around the back?

---------- Post added at 22:34 ---------- Previous post was at 22:32 ----------

That's weird. mine's a male :)

Re: Crush at work
 

:scratch:

Re: Crush at work
 

Is that with the oil? :D

Re: Crush at work
 

I assume so :)

Re: Crush at work
 

It's been a long day. I'm recovering on the red wine.



https://www.cableforum.co.uk/images/...2009/04/29.gif Topic. Get Back On.

Re: Crush at work
 

The topic is about you. it's not many people that get a whole thread about them.
Apart from God :)

Re: Crush at work
 

You whispered something in your sisters ear??
You are freaking me out now Halcyon!;)

---------- Post added at 22:47 ---------- Previous post was at 22:46 ----------


:):angel::)

Re: Crush at work
 

Sorry I'm not making much sense.
I mean when I came out the club I whispered a nice few words into my crushes ear.
She seemed happy since she was the first to chat to me the following day on facebook.

It may be a good idea to email her and remind her that I meant every word.?

Now there is no way I am going to contend with the chief upstairs. But from the topic on these forums some people would suggest he is'nt in. But thats for another thread.

Re: Crush at work
 

No, leave things just as they are ;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Perfect advice and timing

Re: Crush at work
 

Any one else got any relationship problems we can all help(?!) with.

Re: Crush at work
 

Don't email her again. She has already intimated that she heard what you whispered to her and shown that what you said was not a problem with her. No need to remind the lady what you said unless you think she is a bit thick or has a poor memory.

In other words...stop fussing...give her some space....and have a bit of patience.

Re: Crush at work
 

Ok, duly noted. Keeping my mouse off the E-mail button.

For others reading this, if you are also in a similar situation run away now..... No, I mean, do join in and see if you can turn your life round as well. It can be worth it, may be worth it, is worth it as it will always be a weight off your shoulders and you will atleast be able to get on with your life.

Re: Crush at work
 

There's this woman on a forum I know. I really like her but......... :)

Re: Crush at work
 

She reads your posts and thinks no! not even with a .................. stickhttp://smileyshut.com/smileys/new/Laughing/lol-052.GIF

Re: Crush at work
 

You're bald, in your fifties and wear shorts to work?

Re: Crush at work
 

The postman always asks twice:D

Re: Crush at work
 

I'd call it a pole more than a stick :)

Re: Crush at work
 

He don't hear that well apparently :)

Re: Crush at work
 

Full head of hair, thirties, and sometimes just my Y-fronts :D

Re: Crush at work
 

So you had a full head of hair in your thirties, or am I just tired.

Re: Crush at work
 

Go to bed.

Re: Crush at work
 

Everyone needs to go to sleep I think and dream about beautiful people.

Bonne nuit.

Re: Crush at work
 

Gary, you cant be in your thirties if you are wearing Y-frounts, they are old mans under garments!!

Go on admit it, you in your 50s, bald, fat, and ugly;)

---------- Post added at 07:29 ---------- Previous post was at 07:27 ----------



Who did you dream about?

I dreamt I was in a plane and the man in frount put his seat back, and I ended up rowing with him!

(Dream thread?)

Re: Crush at work
 

Funny you mention a dream thread, I started one about 3 years ago LOL
http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/22/28387-dreams.html


I had lots of strange dreams last night but that is probably becuase I kept waking up. I have a cold. But let's just say I woke up this morning thinking about the girl I have a crush on.

Hom3r....Are you going to do anything about the girl you have a crush on ?

Re: Crush at work
 

Halcyyon......

How about just to cheer you up, all willing ladies on here who want to, come and visit you and take you out for a fun evening?

:ghugs:

Re: Crush at work
 

I don't honestly know.

Re: Crush at work
 

Sounds like a plan. You must all wear see through clothing and bring gifts.
Are you in ?

:D;)

Re: Crush at work
 

Ok, I admit I'm 57 with a big belly and a bald head :)

---------- Post added at 13:26 ---------- Previous post was at 13:23 ----------

I'll better that proposal. you don't have to bring gifts :)

Re: Crush at work
 

I do hope my 'stalker' doesn't read this thread :D

Re: Crush at work
 

Obviously you have to weigh up what it would be like since you work with her.
But too many of us let opportunities pass and then live to regret them.

Ok so it is going to be a moment of nerve wracking seconds when you go and ask her out but once it is done, it's a huge weight lifted.
Atleast you will know and can move on with your life.

If you feel feel confident enough that there is a chance she could be interested or atleast open to go out for a drink maybe, then go for it.
Even if you go out and it ends up being a drink more as friends than anything else then atleast you will know.

I think there is a part of me which didnt want to say anything to my crush as I thought whilst she didnt know there was stilla chance she might like me.... I didnmt want to know and be dissapointed but then if you live like that you'l be wondering everyday what could happen if she did say yes or if she was interested.

Re: Crush at work
 

Update:

She hasnt logged on to facebook and I havent had any replies after the last email telling her how I felt and wishing her a happy easter. She now knows my feelings for her.

I've seen that she's logged on to match.com so she must have atleast got my email since she was online.

The only thing I can do now is wait til Monday when I see her at work and give her the Lindt bunny I got her. I'm not looking forward to Monday as it is bound to be awkward.

I just hope she wants to talk, see if we can still meet up.

Oh well. I'm not giving up just as yet. She would have mailed back to say she's not interested hopefully if she was not wanting anything. Plus I think she is still away down South.

Re: Crush at work
 

aw, as said above - you can't spend the rest of your days wondering 'what if' - I think it's great that you took the bull by the horns as it were. :tu:

Re: Crush at work
 

At the end of the day, Rohypnol is your friend :D


NB: Do not actually do this.............Seriously, just don't

Re: Crush at work
 

Can I remind you that affairs of the heart don't always go well if you have just come out of a relationship..it maybe that you came across as desperate,or she doesn't fancy you that much,or she's having fun where she's been staying recently or she just doesn't want to get that serious with you.I warned you to to take it slowly as that's just how it goes sometimes.

Whatever you do next Monday don't jump on her asking why she didn't contact you...Play it cool until she says anything..Just be welcoming and ask if she had a good time on holiday..If it's going to work then she will carry the conversation forward and you can perhaps broach the subject of another drink/meal/cinema trip.Take your time..you have more of it than you think.

;)