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-   -   Thick as thieves? (https://www.cableforum.uk/board/showthread.php?t=33620576)

Osem 10-12-2016 13:51
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Eau de H2SO4? Sounds quite exotic...

:D

1andrew1 13-12-2016 20:58
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
A convicted burglar who pinched a bus and immediately smashed it into metal railings told police: “I don’t know why I did it.”
Bungling Stephen Andrew Pope left the £5,500 bus beyond repair after the bizarre theft, on June 16 this year.
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/...it-st-12312985

Ramrod 23-01-2017 07:13
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
This gem from the Spectator
Quote:
One client of mine, whom I shall call Blofeld, decided to murder his wife.

I do not wish to advise readers as to the best methods for such a crime, but they tend to the prosaic: poison, strangulation, bludgeoning, etc.

Blofeld decided to finish off his missus by firing a homemade, 4ft-long rocket into her car as she drove through a wooded copse on her way home from work.

After painstakingly building his weapon in the shed, he placed it on a custom-built launch frame and angled it towards the road. To ensure it was fired at precisely the correct moment, he positioned himself on the other side of the road, facing the rocket, with a remote control gizmo in hand. Then he lay in wait.

A few minutes later, his wife’s car drew into sight. The moment it was level with Blofeld he pushed the button. Instantly, there was a flash and a roar as the rocket flew towards its target.

It would have been the perfect murder, too, had it not been for one key flaw: his wife’s car was 50 yards up the road by the time the rocket reached the desired point.

Worse, the rocket flew on and smashed into the tree behind which Blofeld was hiding, and exploded with an enormous bang.

The resultant fireball engulfed him, setting fire to his hair and beard, and he was still bandaged up like a mummy when the judge gave him 20 years.
:D

heero_yuy 04-02-2017 10:22
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
1 Attachment(s)
Quote:
Bungling Sean Crawshaw, 47, came a cropper while targeting the property in Radcliffe, Manchester.

The hapless crook was left dangling 15ft in the air after becoming wedged in bathroom window

He was discovered by the stunned occupant of the house, a woman in her 60s, when she returned home from a trip to the shops.

Crawshaw’s head was completely stuck through the window, with his knees on the windowsill – around 15ft off the ground.

The householder dialled 999 and police and fire crews came to remove him.

He was later arrested and has now been locked up for the offence that toook place on December 16 last year.

Crawshaw, of Radcliffe, Manchester was jailed for two years and four months after pleading guilty to burglary with intent to steal.
Source

http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/at...8&d=1486203603

Attachment 26878

Mr Banana 04-02-2017 10:25
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by heero_yuy (Post 35883897)
Pity the wood didn't snap and split the turd in two

heero_yuy 16-08-2017 09:10
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:
When a gambling addict failed to get a job at a Birmingham bookies, he held it up at gunpoint instead, making off with £17,000.

But bungling Umar Mirza was rapidly collared – because he had left his CV, containing all his personal details, with the boss.
Source

They just get better. :D

Osem 16-08-2017 15:29
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by heero_yuy (Post 35912789)
Source

They just get better. :D
:rofl:

joglynne 21-08-2017 21:10
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:
You couldn't make this up...
I do feel sorry for their victims but this Manchester gang really could have tried a tad harder to not showcase their lack of brain cells.

heero_yuy 01-09-2017 11:02
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:
Two bungling armed robbers stormed a packed bar and demanded cash - only to find it full of cops holding a police retirement party.

The masked men allegedly demanded cash from the register at a pub in Baltimore, US on Tuesday evening while a group of officers gathered for a sergeant's retirement.

Monaghan's pub owner Jack Milani told The Baltimore Sun that the men demanded cash from the register and then took off.

Some of the off-duty officers attending the retirement party chased down the men and arrested them nearby, the department said.

Joseph McInnis III, 21, and Tyree McCoy, 22, face charges of armed robbery and possession of a handgun.

The owner of Monaghan's Pub said it was odd that someone would attempt a robbery because the police station is directly across the street and many of the officers are regulars.
Source

:rofl:

Osem 01-09-2017 11:04
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
That's a classic. :D

Osem 13-10-2017 18:41
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
How about these two crooks:

Quote:
A "greedy" couple made "fake" holiday sickness compensation claims while boasting about holidays full of "sun, laughter and fun", a court heard.
Deborah Briton, 53, and partner Paul Roberts, 43, were jailed at Liverpool Crown Court after admitting fraud.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...yside-41609527

Glad they got done.

1andrew1 31-10-2017 19:13
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
A thoroughly unsavoury character.
Quote:
Crimewave ended when thick thief swam into Manchester Ship Canal and took his clothes off
Officers caught up with Bates shortly after midnight on Friday, June 2, when he was chased near the Bridgewater Expressway in Runcorn down to Mersey Road, where he ditched his bicycle and swam out into the Manchester Ship Canal, waving his knife in the air and warning police not to arrest him. Hypothermia set in and he began removing clothes and asking for something to drink, the court heard. A police officer left a bottle of water by the canal’s edge and Bates was arrested when he tried to retrieve it.
All those crimes were committed while Bates was on bail for stabbing his flatmate with a steak knife after he asked him to move his bike out of their kitchen because he was cooking.
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/...-swam-13836075

weenie 02-11-2017 19:00
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Birmingham burglary suspect trapped in takeaway vent :LOL:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...ngham-41848590

TheDaddy 17-11-2017 06:37
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Perhaps they've been hanging around with stupid criminals to long and it's rubbed of on them

Sources say it started when two special ops officers from the 12th Precinct were operating a "push off" on Andover near Seven Mile. That is when two undercover officers pretend to be dope dealers, waiting for eager customers to approach, and then arrest potential buyers and seize their vehicles.

But this time, instead of customers, special ops officers from the 11th Precinct showed up. Not realizing they were fellow officers, they ordered the other undercover officers to the ground.

FOX 2 is told the rest of the special ops team from the 12th Precinct showed up, and officers began raiding a house in the 19300 block of Andover. But instead of fighting crime, officers from both precincts began fighting with each other.



http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/loca...-op-gone-wrong

Ramrod 17-11-2017 17:49
Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDaddy (Post 35925342)
Perhaps they've been hanging around with stupid criminals to long and it's rubbed of on them

Sources say it started when two special ops officers from the 12th Precinct were operating a "push off" on Andover near Seven Mile. That is when two undercover officers pretend to be dope dealers, waiting for eager customers to approach, and then arrest potential buyers and seize their vehicles.

But this time, instead of customers, special ops officers from the 11th Precinct showed up. Not realizing they were fellow officers, they ordered the other undercover officers to the ground.

FOX 2 is told the rest of the special ops team from the 12th Precinct showed up, and officers began raiding a house in the 19300 block of Andover. But instead of fighting crime, officers from both precincts began fighting with each other.



http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/loca...-op-gone-wrong
Oh, for gods sake....:mis::doh:


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