View Full Version : The NTL Awards, 2004
Dear NTL customer,
You are invited to make a nomination for a new annual competition, The NTL Awards. This is an award programme like no other. NTL has in fact already won all the prizes. All you have to do is suggest the categories.
On the form below (ok, within this thread guys, use your imagination, huh?) simply nominate NTL for a category of your own invention, and don't forget to include a short homily in support.
Multiple entries are positively encouraged.
After a wee while, we may select a handful of the best awards and start a new thread with a poll, to give you all a chance to decide the category in which NTL surpasses all others.
Fire away!
They could win for services to London internet connections...
They could also win an award for the most elastic definition of "soon"..
Undisputedtruth
11-11-2003, 00:57
I suggest the biggest BullShiiter category. There are some strong contenders: from sales, customer services, management to R & D. :LOL:
Chimaera
11-11-2003, 08:21
The sexiest sounding young man in CS! ;)
And I should know, I have spoken to enough of them - but they were all helpful btw!
(all in the South Wales area too!) :D
th'engineer
11-11-2003, 08:40
What about the worst customer service in Telecoms
Stuart W
11-11-2003, 09:01
Gold medal in oxymoronic behaviour.
ntl, a communications company?
ROTFLMFAO!!!
Undisputedtruth
11-11-2003, 09:08
What about the worst customer service in Telecoms
Only one contender - ntl. :D
orangebird
11-11-2003, 09:12
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:rolleyes:
The Bill Goodland award for best Policy Climbdown while Saving Face in Public. Awarded for implementing a 1GB daily cap, stating publically that it will not be reversed, yet nobody can find one reported case of it's implementation or sanctions.
orangebird
11-11-2003, 10:14
The Bill Goodland award for best Policy Climbdown while Saving Face in Public. Awarded for implementing a 1GB daily cap, stating publically that it will not be reversed, yet nobody can find one reported case of it's implementation or sanctions.
and you're complaining about that? :confused:
Dear NTL customer,
You are invited to make a nomination for a new annual competition, The NTL Awards. This is an award programme like no other. NTL has in fact already won all the prizes. All you have to do is suggest the categories.
On the form below (ok, within this thread guys, use your imagination, huh?) simply nominate NTL for a category of your own invention, and don't forget to include a short homily in support.
Multiple entries are positively encouraged.
After a wee while, we may select a handful of the best awards and start a new thread with a poll, to give you all a chance to decide the category in which NTL surpasses all others.
Fire away!For a minute I thought you were serious, then I read the replies :rolleyes:
th'engineer
11-11-2003, 10:17
The most unreliable e-mail service
Only one contender - ntl. :DI nominate BT .... .oh wait, he already said this is the NTL only awards ...... :banghead:
The Knapp's Office Memorial Prize, to be awarded annually to a retiring member of staff who can reasonably claim to have lost equivalent to the GDP of a small Latin American economy on ill-timed and badly planned acquisitions. Winner: BK himself, of course.
SMHarman
11-11-2003, 10:25
The most unreliable e-mail service
Most visible "transparent proxies"
Most invisible newsgroups
Most prompt development of internet services: http://community.ntl.com/forum/
BTW UDT, I take it you have never dealt with O2 customer services. They are far worse than NTL...
th'engineer
11-11-2003, 10:33
The Bill Goodland special Prize for understanding the Customer .
Won by Bill Goodland with the quote " that it was to technical for them" in the famous Goodland Tapes.
th'engineer
11-11-2003, 10:39
The Best excuse "coming soon" this quote has been used many times by NTL . It is a multiuse excuse that can be used in many areas of the business.
can be used as a reply to placate the customer.
Examples: the tech has not turned up! "coming soon"
the e-mail does not work! new servers "coming soon"
The interactive does not work MR2 "coming soon"
When is the Samsung available! "coming soon"
Is 2MB available! it might be "coming soon"
Can ex CWC have NTL dial up "coming soon"
Undisputedtruth
11-11-2003, 19:49
Most prompt development of internet services: http://community.ntl.com/forum/
BTW UDT, I take it you have never dealt with O2 customer services. They are far worse than NTL...
I have and no, no one can be bad as NTL. However, their retentions are very tight and so I will be taking by services to T-Mobile once the new T630 comes out.
th'engineer
11-11-2003, 20:07
I have and no, no one can be bad as NTL. However, their retentions are very tight and so I will be taking by services to T-Mobile once the new T630 comes out.
Why do i think UDT has missed the point of the thread again :rolleyes: :rofl:
Undisputedtruth
11-11-2003, 20:17
Why do i think UDT has missed the point of the thread again :rolleyes: :rofl:
Sorry Engineer - i just answered an out of topic question with an out of topic answer. Perhaps, you need to address your thoughts to the person that actually asked me an off topic question.
th'engineer
11-11-2003, 20:22
Have you any suggestions for awards in the spirit of the thread
Why do i think UDT has missed the point of the thread again :rolleyes: :rofl:
No, I hold my hand up. I went a bit off topic, and UDT answered me.
So, my fault..
For services to the Online community: AshG...
The sexiest sounding young man in CS! ;)
And I should know, I have spoken to enough of them - but they were all helpful btw!
(all in the South Wales area too!) :D
ohhh i agree....can we add the south wales tech support lads too ;)
Undisputedtruth
11-11-2003, 21:14
ohhh i agree....can we add the south wales tech support lads too ;)
Certainly not.
Certainly not.
tough its townys thread and unless he says i cant i am going to :p the ts ive spoken to have all had lovely voices mmm
Chimaera
11-11-2003, 21:29
Certainly not.
Yeah - on a serious thread UDT I always speak as I find - and they have always been helpful.
Sorry! :kiss:
tough its townys thread and unless he says i cant i am going to :p the ts ive spoken to have all had lovely voices mmm
Well, I couldn't possibly comment on the sexiness or otherwise of the South Wales CS boys, so you go right ahead ... :)
While I'm here, here's another one:
The Silver Dagger Prize, for proven expertise in stabbing talented young professional website editors in the back. Anyone like to suggest who should go up to the podium and collect that one on NTL's behalf?
Well, I couldn't possibly comment on the sexiness or otherwise of the South Wales CS boys, so you go right ahead ... :)
While I'm here, here's another one:
The Silver Dagger Prize, for proven expertise in stabbing talented young professional website editors in the back. Anyone like to suggest who should go up to the podium and collect that one on NTL's behalf?
cheers towny......and ash g :mad:
th'engineer
11-11-2003, 22:08
Manchester CS for the Best Customer Service
ntl customer
11-11-2003, 22:12
Most visible "transparent proxies"
Most invisible newsgroups
The "What email?!" award for the most useless email service that is down most of the time (its got so bad that people have stopped emailing me as they are getting sick of their inboxes being flooded with "mail could not be delivered" messages or their emails disappearing into a black hole and me or them not knowing about it).
The "I want to hang up" award for the most dreadful on hold music (three varioations of the same piece - loads of time spend on hold, need I say more...oh yes I can....AARRGHHH!!!)
The devious gits award for silently slipping in the 1Gb cap into the T&C's one night.
More later... :)
th'engineer
11-11-2003, 22:20
The devious gits award for silently slipping in the 1Gb cap into the T&C's one night.
More later... :)think that one goes to BIll Goodland not NTL:devsmoke:
and you're complaining about that? :confused:Try reading my post again. :rolleyes:
SMHarman
12-11-2003, 13:54
<snip?
The "I want to hang up" award for the most dreadful on hold music (three varioations of the same piece - loads of time spend on hold, need I say more...oh yes I can....AARRGHHH!!!)
<snip>
More later... :)
I was shocked to find that the music had changed when I called earlier this week.
Realised I had not needed to call in quite a while.
th'engineer
12-11-2003, 14:03
The Dodgy dealings award for Bill Goodland first CAP them then get extra cash with this (http://www.ntlworld.com/broadbandplus/account/registration/not_registered.php)
The "most condescending CS agent" award - loads of possible nominees :D
or the "best use of the phrase 'it must be at your end' during a fault call" award :D
guess you can tell what annoys me about NTL CS :LOL:
As always these are my opinions - love 'em or hate 'em but I aint gonna change 'em...
Zovat :angel:
Undisputedtruth
18-11-2003, 22:24
How about the most hang up on a customer award? :D :D :D :rofl:
:LOL:
Scarlett
18-11-2003, 22:46
How about 'Most imaganative use of mental puzzles...' as anyone who's tried to navigate the IVR system can testify.
Undisputedtruth
23-11-2003, 11:39
The Best excuse "coming soon" this quote has been used many times by NTL . It is a multiuse excuse that can be used in many areas of the business.
can be used as a reply to placate the customer.
Examples: the tech has not turned up! "coming soon"
the e-mail does not work! new servers "coming soon"
The interactive does not work MR2 "coming soon"
When is the Samsung available! "coming soon"
Is 2MB available! it might be "coming soon"
Can ex CWC have NTL dial up "coming soon"
New addition: How about nthelworld.com coming soon. :D
The George Bush "Friendly Fire" award for shooting either yourself or a friend in the foot: NTL for the whole Cap affair.
The George Bush "Friendly Fire" award for shooting either yourself or a friend in the foot: NTL for the whole Cap affair.
How about the "services to nthellworld.co.uk" award for closing down .com
:LOL:
:beer:
just my 2c
How about the "services to nthellworld.co.uk" award for closing down .com
I think we might have a winner here ... :D
But nthellworld.co.uk had nothing to do with .com closing down. We aren't taking any responsibility for that. The responsibility is fully ntl's.
But nthellworld.co.uk had nothing to do with .com closing down. We aren't taking any responsibility for that. The responsibility is fully ntl's.
I'm not saying you did - just that NTL should get an award for services to this site - we already know that NTL, AND ONLY NTL are responsible for it closing...
Please, lets not cover old ground again - but it has brought a lot of people to this site -most of whom are helpful and can only increase the already high status of this site among NTL users.
there is and always has been a case to keep the site open indefinately. However, there's an equally valid case not to.
Award for - Facing two ways.
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