View Full Version : Only 2 months to live!
A relative has been told by her doctor that she only has two months to live; cancer has spread to her liver and bones. How do you cope with that?:cry:
A relative has been told by her doctor that she only has two months to live; cancer has spread to her liver and bones. How do you cope with that?:cry:
Absolutely terrible news... I would say to them, try to forget about it, & have as much fun as you can. Easy to say, difficult to do...
Absolutely terrible news... I would say to them, try to forget about it, & have as much fun as you can. Easy to say, difficult to do...
Thanks iglu. Just don't know how I would cope, expect after the initial shock I would try and do all the things I had been puting off, like making a will, going abroad for a holiday, doing things I always wanted to do, in other words let my hair down and to hell with what others think! Don't know how Mr Tink and the rest of the family would cope though, that would be something else. Also it would have to be done fairly quickly before the illness prevented me.
omg i am sorry to hear that m8 my dad had cancer a few months back. he had to go to hospital quiet a few times that was hard for the family he was smoking 40 a day he has stopped smoking now he has to go back a few more times hope we dont hear the news you had i feal for your family
omg i am sorry to hear that m8 my dad had cancer a few months back. he had to go to hospital quiet a few times that was hard for the family he was smoking 40 a day he has stopped smoking now he has to go back a few more times hope we dont hear the news you had i feal for your family
Thank you for that Safeman, sorry to hear about your Dad, hope he has better news. I don't know whether I would want to be told I only had a short time to live. Would it be better to carry on in ignorance, or have the opportunity to put your house in order? I just can't make up my mind.:(
Say and do everything you can in the precious time you have left. At least you have the chance to say goodbye in a positive and memorable way. :sorry:
TheDaddy
16-06-2007, 09:40
How do you cope with that?:cry:
Be bright and positive around her, no matter how hard it is for you or how bad it gets for her
I'm sorry to hear that Tinky. Personally I would claim every benefit (I know it sounds terrible - but there are a fair few extra quid they need to make sure they are getting it all 0800 88 22 00) going and spend spend spend!
Be bright and positive around her, no matter how hard it is for you or how bad it gets for her
Easier said than done, I should imagine Daddy, especially if she starts to suffer with the pain etc., her close family are going to have to be very strong for her.
I'm sorry to hear that Tinky. Personally I would claim every benefit (I know it sounds terrible - but there are a fair few extra quid they need to make sure they are getting it all 0800 88 22 00) going and spend spend spend!
Thanks for the tip lauzjp, but she lives in Australia and they have a different benefit system, i.e. they have to provide for their own pensions etc, so I expect any benefits will be thin on the ground.
Thanks for the tip lauzjp, but she lives in Australia and they have a different benefit system, i.e. they have to provide for their own pensions etc, so I expect any benefits will be thin on the ground.
eek! :disturbd: is she not an expat?
eek! :disturbd: is she not an expat?
Yes she is an expat, but they have also taken Australian citizenship. Thankfully however I don't think they have money worries.
ooh, I would still give the benefit enquiry line a call and see if she is entitled to anything. why pay out if there's money available that she's entitled to? also have a look here -
http://www.service.sa.gov.au/contentpages/lifeevents/details.aspx?id=10&page=7
http://www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/individuals/iid_other_links.htm
http://www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/individuals/iid_index.htm
ooh, I would still give the benefit enquiry line a call and see if she is entitled to anything. why pay out if there's money available that she's entitled to? also have a look here -
http://www.service.sa.gov.au/contentpages/lifeevents/details.aspx?id=10&page=7
http://www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/individuals/iid_other_links.htm
http://www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/individuals/iid_index.htm
Thank you again lauzjp, this information will be of interest to other members as well, I'm sure.:tu:
Sorry to hear the sad news.
It is always difficult to know what to do in situations like this.
Everyone is different and the main thing to do is to make sure she can do as many things as possible in the time she has left.
Make this time enjoyable and make sure you make the last few months some of the best memories you will all have with her.
There will be times where you will have to be strong and it will be inevitable that you will have to talk about serious issues at times.
It's a difficult time for everyone, yet you can make sure that her last few months are happy ones and just be there for her.
Good luck. :tu:
greencreeper
16-06-2007, 17:19
My mate lasted 10 days from the diagnosis. You can't really cope. Just have to deal with it day-by-day and hope you'll make sense of it one day. Best wishes though, Tinky. Hope your relative is comfortable and not suffering.
tweetypie/8
18-06-2007, 15:04
Say and do everything you can in the precious time you have left. At least you have the chance to say goodbye in a positive and memorable way. :sorry:
couldnt agree more :tu:
Terrible thing to have to deal with, my sympathies to her family :(
I'm really sorry to hear that Tinky :( Unfortunately i've been through something similar (with only about 1 week's notice, instead of of 2 months)
Firstly, don't treat it as 2 months. Estimating is a not a science and cancer growths are a living entity which can speed up and slow down (don't get false hope, but it happens) of its own free will. As GC said, live day-by-day. Even if its 2 months to the day, there will be a winding down process, as cancer removes people's appetites and if its colo-rectal, often prevents food/drink from being digested anyway. As the liver gets affected, the drugs will normally make them more drowsy and prone to spacey/hullucinations.
Try and make sure everyone's as positive as they can be. One of the biggest pieces of advice I can give is to make sure whatever's needed to be said is said, and make sure everyone's on the same hymn sheet. This could saved my family untold amounts of rows later about what you relative wanted or would have thought about something. Try and spend as much time as possible with your relative, but also allow them to have time to be at peace with themselves.
Its very hard to answer... We all go about this in different ways. I don't think there's a right or wrong way. Some family members put the blinkers up, some are very-emotional.
Thank you all so much for your heartfelt wishes!:hugs: Today I've been told that my relative has a glimmer of hope. She is to have more chemo, lets hope and pray this time it works!
Cobbydaler
23-06-2007, 10:41
I'm sure everyone will join me in hoping it does...
Cancer survival rates have, on average, doubled in the last 30 years.
joglynne
25-06-2007, 01:09
I'm sure everyone will join me in hoping it does...
Cancer survival rates have, on average, doubled in the last 30 years.
I'm definitely with you on that sentiment Cobbydaler.
Tinky, I had only days to say my goodbyes to my Father. The only real regret I now have is that I wish I had been able to be stronger for him. He was the one comforting me, he was so brave and kept his wicked sense of humour right up to the end. I can't imagine your having to live with this and not being able to see her in person. My heart goes out to you.:hugs:
Jo
sssshhhh
25-06-2007, 11:38
best wishes to you all Tinky
She passed away yesterday, very sad.
Very sorry to hear about that :(
zing_deleted
27-02-2008, 08:08
sorry Tink
DocDutch
27-02-2008, 08:23
very sorry to hear it Tink, but if the cancer spread that far I think its for the best for your relative :(
Sorry to hear about that mate.
RIP
She passed away yesterday, very sad.Sad news, but at least she got more than the predicted two months.
tweetypie/8
27-02-2008, 12:05
A relative has been told by her doctor that she only has two months to live; cancer has spread to her liver and bones. How do you cope with that?:cry:
terrible news tinky,but at least he/she has time to sort things out that may have been left on the long finger and he/ she has the time to make her peace in many many ways,all i can say is god bless them.
webcrawler2050
27-02-2008, 12:10
I am sorry to hear this, it is indeed tragic.
I can some what associate with you on this one!
My step-Mum's father has cancer they opened him up and said, cant do nothing. Of course, gave him 6 weeks.
How to do deal with it?
Now theres a question!
Take it day by day - be supportive of the relative make her comfortable and just spend time with her and maybe remember the good times.. :)
superbiatch
27-02-2008, 12:20
Didn't read the full thread, no offence meant.
Deepest sympathies - i hope she managed to get as much done as possible :(
joglynne
27-02-2008, 12:42
Sorry to hear your news Tinky. It must be difficult for you being on the other side of the world. :hugs:
I hope her passing was peacefull. Sad news indeed
Cobbydaler
27-02-2008, 17:12
Sorry to hear that Tinky...
dilli-theclaw
27-02-2008, 17:13
Sad news indeed :(
TheDaddy
27-02-2008, 17:31
I hope her passing was peacefull. Sad news indeed
Can add no more than that :(
homealone
27-02-2008, 19:41
Sympathies to you and the rest of your family Tinky :(
Delta Whiskey
27-02-2008, 19:46
Condolences to you and the family.
alferret
27-02-2008, 21:09
Sorry to hear that condolences to you and your family.
Condolences to you and the family
.
Thinking of you Tinky , hope your ok , at least your relative isnt suffering any more . Small comfort i know , but its how i think of my dad . It helps me xx
Arthurgray50@blu
27-02-2008, 22:21
My condolences to the family, l can remember with sadness, when l got a call to say that my mother was in hospital, with a minor problem, and when l got to the hospital, l was told that she an hour to live and l had to say goodbye, and l took her hand, and said if l could change places, l would, as she was such a good person, a couple of minutes later, she was gone, l will never forget that, it hits you hard, you do recover from it, but you never forget - god bless.
I had no BB last night, so a belated thank you for all your kind condolences.
Very sorry to hear about that :(
So sorry to hear your sad news and pleased (in a sad way) they managed to stay with you for longer than expected. :sorry:
webcrawler2050
28-02-2008, 10:29
Heres an idea:
Maybe we could all do some sponsered forum event or something to raise money for this cause?
What do we think?
Say and do everything you can in the precious time you have left. At least you have the chance to say goodbye in a positive and memorable way. :sorry:
She was very brave, she lost her lovely hair 3 times, due to the intensive chemotherapy treatment she received. But she was brave to the end, even organising and sending out invitations to her own wake, held only 2 weeks ago. She wanted to say goodbye to family and friends in person.
Heres an idea:
Maybe we could all do some sponsered forum event or something to raise money for this cause?
What do we think?
Really nice thought webby, and I appreciate it, but I think probably most CF members already contribute to cancer research.
Sorry to hear the news Tinky.
My condolenses to you and your family.
webcrawler2050
28-02-2008, 18:06
Hmm - I am sure we / SAR Hosting could organise something!
I am really sorry to hear the bad news! just think, she is not in any pain and suffering anymore, she is in a better place :) Just remember although she has gone in person her spirit is still around! and remember she will always be looking down on you and thinking how brave you have been!
Once agine im sorry about what happened!
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