View Full Version : Unreasonable?
Barewolf
27-04-2007, 11:52
Do you think i am being unreasonable?
My GF's neighbour keeps coming round for a joint. She has supposed to have stopped smoking it but recently he is always round there. Last night she was stressed out and he came round at 12 midnight.
Ive noticed a big change in her recently which she says is down to me being an idiot.
Isnt it natural to get jealous over her neighbour coming round giving her weed and comforting her when it should be me?
Im so stressed out. I NEED A JOINT.
Ive been so nice to her, trying to sort her broadband out, and her benefit for her son, and offered to take her away for a weekend so we can bond more, and she just doesnt care. Smokes weed with her neighbour and never talks to me anymore.
Action Jackson
27-04-2007, 11:57
I'd ditch her if what you say in your last paragraph is true.
Smoking dope is illegal. Expect the morality police to arrive on this thread pronto :D
In my experience weed doesn't usually give people the horn. So look on the bright side she's probably not shagging him.
Smoking dope is illegal. Expect the morality police to arrive on this thread pronto :D
:rolleyes: We aren't going to pretend it doesn't go on, but we're not going to tell you where to score cheap drugs. Bit of a difference there.
If my gf smoked weed, I'd ditch her straight away. It's bad enough that she smokes tobacco (hello dear :waving: )
You'll end up dragging yourself down trying to help.
Action Jackson
27-04-2007, 12:02
:rolleyes: We aren't going to pretend it doesn't go on, but we're not going to tell you where to score cheap drugs. Bit of a difference there.
I was only jesting in reference to my router hijacking thread. :)
So, about this place you know that you can score cheap drugs.... :D
I would make a stand and put it straight to her....Either she wants to be with you or else she can go it alone.
You've prooved yourself and have shown that you care for her.
If she is not putting anything back into your relationship then why should you hang around.
May be knowing she could loose you will kick start her back into real life.
If she still does nothing, then even though it will be hard at first, try to move on.
You deserve someone better.
Good luck :tu:
I was only jesting in reference to my router hijacking thread. :)
Oh, my bad... :angel:
While I don't smoke weed, I've got quite a few friends who do.
Weed seems to affect people one of two ways: They will either just smoke the odd joint and get on with their lives (much the same way as people might smoke cigarettes), or the weed (and it's providor) will become the single most important thing in their life, and may lead them to start ignoring other things (such as friends/family). They may justify this action by telling themselves that their friends and family just exist to stop them having fun.
It sounds like you are in the first category, and your GF is in the second, and may be just using you to sort out her life.
I am not passing any judgements (to do so would be wrong, as I have never met either you or your GF), but if my previous sentence is correct, you'll only get hurt by staying with her.
soup dragon
27-04-2007, 12:07
no wonder she was late with her course work if she was smoking and hanging out with the pimp next door!! ;)
Barewolf
27-04-2007, 12:15
Well she seems very ****ed off recently. Ive quit drinking because she didnt like it but also it nearly killed me, i got offered a job recently and took it but was let down by the guy, i took the job so i could help her out financially but also because i wanted to get back in shape, not fat but wanted my muscles back etc.
All this has changed me but she still getting ****ed off at me, she seems to hate me, and is smoking weed more and more and i know what substances can do to you. She says theres nothing wrong with no and then so i said "OK well im stressed i will go have a beer" and she said fine if youre that weak.
Shall i sack her off you think? I just love her so much but i love everyone me, soft **** aint i?
---------- Post added at 12:15 ---------- Previous post was at 12:14 ----------
no wonder she was late with her course work if she was smoking and hanging out with the pimp next door!! ;)
Well hes 17, dont think he is a pimp.
TheBlueRaja
27-04-2007, 12:18
Dump her - nobody come round at 12 midnight "for a joint" and doesnt get to play (how do you know this anyway - is that what she tells you or do you know this for sure)
If she's getting grumpy its because she's fecked off with you and cant find a way out so she just gets grumpy until you decide to ditch her. My bet is the neighbours a bit friendlier than you think.
Also, IF he's 17 - what the hell were you thinking at that age?
Sounds like she resents you for being reliant on you.
Barewolf
27-04-2007, 12:21
Dump her - nobody come round at 12 midnight "for a joint" and doesnt get to play (how do you know this anyway - is that what she tells you or do you know this for sure)
If she's getting grumpy its because she's fecked off with you and cant find a way out so she just gets grumpy until you decide to ditch her. My bet is the neighbours a bit friendlier than you think.
Also, IF he's 17 - what the hell were you thinking at that age?
Well shes 23. i dont know if she would stoop to a 17 year old, but saying that im 32. Maybe she likes older men?
Why the hell would she say she loves me and that though if she doesnt want to be with me, doesnt make sense.
In telling you that he came round it could just be a casual smoke with a friend and she sees nothing wrong with it. Maybe though shes giving you the old double bluff and it was a joint of another kind she was smoking!
TheBlueRaja
27-04-2007, 12:28
Mate, i hear you and i could be well wrong as you know them better than I. But if you were 17 and heading round to a tired, depressed 23 year old's house at midnight...
didn't you say in a previous post that she stays in London? If so I'd say get rid of her. Then you might not have to post about all the problems of hers you are trying to sort out!!
You are far better off out of it (excuse the pun), the relationship I mean. I'm sorry, but I live next door to not one, not two but three people who are quite addicted to the weed, so much so that it is the first and last thing they think about of a day. It is not as bad as them all shooting up and leaving their bits and pieces all over the block, but almost... They get so grumpy, really agressive, are forever 'borrowing' money... BW you have enough on your plate already without her (potential) problems. Your gf seems to not know when she is onto a good thing, she doesn't deserve you. It's up to you of course, but I would not put up with it.
Barewolf
27-04-2007, 13:11
Well shes stressed me out big time that ive had a beer now. knowing it might kill me, i rang her earlier because my texts were not getting through to her and told her i was going to the job centre to find a job and appologize to her. So i asked her to empty her inbox and she hasnt. so she is taking the billy mitchel.
Two words mate, get shot.
Seriously mate, I was engaged to a woman who seemed to take all the time, earnt only £200 a week so I paid for most things, Used to drive hundreds of miles up the country to visit her, she never came down to visit me.
Cost me a fortune.
I'd finish a 12 hour night shift, drive up to her and get an earful as soon as I walked through the front door.
I used to pay her to go down the pub to get drunk because then she was quite nice.
When we split it was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders.
Action Jackson
27-04-2007, 14:24
Do you have a back patio?
If so, Fred West her ass.
Barewolf
27-04-2007, 14:30
Well i see what youre all saying.
I foned her about 5 mins ago, she said she was busy, her coursework. She was ****ed off big time so i said i was off and she cant talk to me because i stress her out, her mates dont though apparently.
Ive had enough. anyone know any date sites lol. I need a woman that will respect me and appreciate me. ive done **** all wrong. sick of it.
---------- Post added at 14:30 ---------- Previous post was at 14:29 ----------
ive even found a job btw. not good enough for her
Action Jackson
27-04-2007, 14:39
Well i see what youre all saying.
I foned her about 5 mins ago, she said she was busy, her coursework. She was ****ed off big time so i said i was off and she cant talk to me because i stress her out, her mates dont though apparently.
Ive had enough. anyone know any date sites lol. I need a woman that will respect me and appreciate me. ive done **** all wrong. sick of it.
---------- Post added at 14:30 ---------- Previous post was at 14:29 ----------
ive even found a job btw. not good enough for her
No offence bud, but you sound like you are a bit of a doormat.
Have a bit more respect for yourself.
I think you know deep down that the relationship is sick and should probably be ended(based on what you have said) but are clinging on for reasons only known to yourself(sounds like she is doing the same). We've all been there, and can assure you that if there's definitely no hope to make things better, then ending it is the only option. Not saying it's easy but it usually always works out for the best in the end.
But unfortunately I get the feeling that this will be one of threads where people all give you the same advice but you go off and do the opposite, simply because what people are saying is not what you want to hear.
soup dragon
27-04-2007, 14:40
is this for real? @1311 you said you were going to the job centre, you got a job and were back home ringing her at 1420ish.
Yep, congrats on the job, I'll congratulate you again when your single, it is hard, I know ;) but, what's the point in staying in a relationship where there's only fighting, a long distance one at that.....................none.
As for date sites etc etc, unless your one in a few, ( some CFers ) your not going to find your 'other 'alf' like that. Get yourself out and about, be yourself with any woman you do talk to, and, although not specifically true all the time, find someone closer to your age.
HTH :tu:
Barewolf
27-04-2007, 14:50
is this for real? @1311 you said you were going to the job centre, you got a job and were back home ringing her at 1420ish.
Job center is next door to me. i live about 6 houses away dude
TheDaddy
27-04-2007, 15:04
Job center is next door to me. i live about 6 houses away dude
That's handy, should have tried for a job there ;)
Barewolf
27-04-2007, 15:07
dont bother they are all idiots :)
keithwalton
27-04-2007, 15:18
Congrats on the job mate.
I wouldnt go rushing straight into somthing else, i'd take time on yourself and work on that.
There are plenty of 'social networking' websites around these days which you can meet people off and have a good time, you tend to find people that dont spend all there time down the pub!
It may work for you it may not, try and see what does.
Barewolf
27-04-2007, 15:30
keith aint they like groups that go walking all the time? like in their 50's? dont want that i want to find a nice girl about my age lol. grab a granny night is off for me.
TheDaddy
27-04-2007, 16:22
dont bother they are all idiots :)
Don't worry I won't, your job centres about 300 miles away from me ;)
Sounds like you need to meet up in person have a heart to heart and then decide were to go from there.
Barewolf
27-04-2007, 17:49
i think its decided. i told her i sold my xbox to take her out, she didnt even say she was ok to go out. even though i would pay for it by selling my xbox. all she was bothered about was where i got the money from, like im some stealer / mug.
Wasted my life on her, she can go **** off. Just another sad bitch on weed thinking she can better herself by doing a course in my opinion. Good luck to her. I wont help her again anyway.
Action Jackson
27-04-2007, 18:04
i think its decided. i told her i sold my xbox to take her out, she didnt even say she was ok to go out. even though i would pay for it by selling my xbox. all she was bothered about was where i got the money from, like im some stealer / mug.
Wasted my life on her, she can go **** off. Just another sad bitch on weed thinking she can better herself by doing a course in my opinion. Good luck to her. I wont help her again anyway.
:confused:
Quick question bud. You been drinking today?
joglynne
27-04-2007, 18:27
Barewolf, It seems to me that your relationship with this girl has dented your self confidence as well as your pocket.
You have a job now and if you stick with your decision to break from her you will have the space to find someone who will be a partner for you rather than the dependant she appears to be.
Maybe your withdrawing from her will actually help her and give her the wake-up call she needs to sort out her own life.
Long distance relationships only work if they are between two people who really care for, and respect, each other. If you are the only one in the relationship who makes any effort then you could be right in calling it a day.
Whatever happens try not to brood, don't start drinking again, save up and get yourself a new xbox. add Think twice before you sell the next one:D
you could also try here- http://www.spicemcr.com/ if you don't want to mix with us older folk
Following on from my post like night when I mentioned about you spontaneously combusting from all the stress, I think you need to have a look at whether you are getting any "thanks" for all the things you have been trying to do to make your g/f's life easier. You seem to devote so much time and energy into helping her and while I may not agree with your views, I can appreciate your feelings behind it all. Long-distance relationships are so bloody difficult to maintain, it's not as if you can just nip round when the mood takes you so is it worth all your time and effort on what seems like a one-way street of romance.
Perhaps the time may come where it may be best to just cut your losses before you get too deep in and find someone who appreciates and respects you. At least there's not much chance of bumping into her whilst you're strutting your stuff at the Valley Lodge (if it's still called that lol)
Barewolf
28-04-2007, 13:59
Thanks for your support and advice.
I dont beleive im going to say this but i love her so much that to help her i sold my grandads war medals fo 5 grand. I got duplicates made though so the memory isnt lost but thats not the point.
Ive spent a good half of that on her, New mobile, jewelry, bills, travel. The rest i spent on going out and spending it in hotels.
You probably think i am auful for doing that but ive never loved anyone like this, she can turn me into a monster at times and turn me nice at others. All i want is for her to stop arguing with me and treat me decent, stop taking weed etc.
Anyway i have a job now but i got that for her, i dont want this job but now me and her are over i dont know what to do. my head is up my ass. No mates round here i can talk to, no one on MSN. FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!
She didnt text me last night so i rang her up and she flipped at me, apparently she had gone to the airport to pick her mum up. I didnt know, she never texted me, so shes hacked off about that and me leaving her messages.
So depressed guys
AlabasterLyn
28-04-2007, 14:07
keith aint they like groups that go walking all the time? like in their 50's? dont want that i want to find a nice girl about my age lol. grab a granny night is off for me.
Nothing wrong with meeting someone at a 'grab a granny' club ;)
Once you get past 30 it's hard to find places to go where you can meet other single people of a similar age.
I met my partner at a singles club 10yrs ago and we are still together :)
Lyn
Barewolf
28-04-2007, 14:22
Grab a granny is ok so long as she dont smoke weed and appreciates me :P
joglynne
28-04-2007, 15:00
Barewolf, Have you looked at link in my last post. There are groups that meet up very close to you, a close friend went through a similar experience to you and found that Spice (honest it's not some religious or do good group, or one filled with older people) provided so many things to do he was hard pressed to fit us into his new social life. It's been great seeing him recover his confidence.:)
Though his bridge jumping and his first parachute jump did give his parents a few nightmares.:D
AlabasterLyn
28-04-2007, 15:10
Grab a granny is ok so long as she dont smoke weed and appreciates me :P
I couldn't agree more. We all deserve to find someone that appreciates us and I am sure you will find someone :)
Lyn
Barewolf
28-04-2007, 16:05
I will look at that site and pay attention, looks good, wouldnt mind clay pigeon shooting hehehe.
mmmmm Pot paranoya, i know a few people with that, they are right you are wrong and the shire horse blinkers just wont come off :rolleyes:
Shame you aint in Kearsley mate, the women outnumber us about 4-1 :disturbd:
They are like Vultures :Yikes:
Barewolf
28-04-2007, 17:23
i will move there then marky. its like -1 here
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