View Full Version : Paying on a date
We were having this debate at the weekend about who should pay on a date.
I replied that now a days, it is normal for a guy to pay for the girl on the first date or when treating her on her birthday or a special occasion.
I then went on to say that once you have been going out a while and you are in a long term relationship it is better to plit bills in half at the end of a meal, or one person pays this meal, and then the other will pay on an other occasion.
Some friends of mine were saying that is is the man that should always pay for everything on a the date, even one stating that they should pay their girlfriends holidays too and not split that.
Maybe it is a generation thing and this was done more in the past.
How do you pay for meals as a couple ?
Do you agree or disagree that the man should have to pay everything ?
Let the debate start.....
halcyon.
I would have thought that the days of the man paying for everything are over.....unless he wants to treat her on a special occasion (or visa versa)
Some friends of mine were saying that is is the man that should always pay for everything on a the date, even one stating that they should pay their girlfriends holidays too and not split that.
Are these friends by any chance female?
Yes, that is what I think too.
Things are much more equal now and I don't think the man has to pay for everything.
That doesnt mean he can't treat his girlfriend at times, but means he shouldn't pay for everything.
---------- Post added at 09:45 ---------- Previous post was at 09:44 ----------
Are these friends by any chance female?
Funnily enough most were female, Yes.
Two were male and they said they would pay for everything, but these two males were a lot older.
Most of my other friends (male) agreed with me.
Action Jackson
23-04-2007, 09:47
A bloke should only pay for the meal on a first date if he feels he is guaranteed to be indulging in some action pumpy later on. It's only fair.
If you are in a long term relationship then there should be no issue over who pays for meals because your wife/girlfriend should cook your dinner for you at all times. This means you can keep your money to spend in the pub, at lapdancing clubs or at the bookies.
AntiSilence
23-04-2007, 10:06
Well, to me it seems that the equal rights that women wanted only apply when they want it to.
As far as I'm concerned, I would offer to pay for the first meal, but after that it should be equal.
Certainly in early relationship, the man should offer to pay but if the women requests to pay her share then that should be accepted and nothing more said.
Once you have been dating a couple times then days/meals out should be shared equally or proportionally depending on net wealth! If the bloke is richer he should pay more and vise versa.
Surely a relationship isn't about sponging off the other half just being fair and reasonable!
Funnily enough most were female, Yes.
Two were male and they said they would pay for everything, but these two males were a lot older.
Most of my other friends (male) agreed with me.
Thought as much. Don't ever get into a relationship with them!
If both partners have a similar disposable income then they should either split the costs or take turns.
If one has a much greater disposable income than the other, then that person should pay a greater share, unless it would be reasonable to split or take turns.
I say disposable income rather than wages because someone could take home £1K a month, but only spend £400 on living costs, while someone could take home £2K a month, but spend £1.6K on living costs.
AntiSilence
23-04-2007, 10:14
Thought as much. Don't ever get into a relationship with them!
If both partners have a similar disposable income then they should either split the costs or take turns.
If one has a much greater disposable income than the other, then that person should pay a greater share, unless it would be reasonable to split or take turns.
I say disposable income rather than wages because someone could take home £1K a month, but only spend £400 on living costs, while someone could take home £2K a month, but spend £1.6K on living costs.
And as for paying for their holiday.... :shocked:
Some friends of mine were saying that is is the man that should always pay for everything on a the date, even one stating that they should pay their girlfriends holidays too and not split that.
Maybe it is a generation thing and this was done more in the past.
How do you pay for meals as a couple ?
Do you agree or disagree that the man should have to pay everything ?
Let the debate start.....
halcyon.
I suppose I have been lucky, but I've mostly been out with Ladies who insist on paying half.
Well, apart from one girl who decded that as her friend was going out with mine, and he was paying for her friend (they were a couple) that I would pay for her. With the result that while I had only had an (admittedly nice) hamburger, chips and Coke, I ended up paying over £30 (it was a high-class burger bar, so the price was around £15 a head) for it.
I didn't particularly like the girl anyway, and after she did that, we never talked again.
From what I am reading it does seem like this is old fashioned now and that it is much more realistic to half the bills.
I think it is a lot more reasonable.
It depends on what is most comfortable for the couple...
With an ex of mine I paid for a lot of bills, but the times when i didn't have a lot of money she would pay. However, there is a slight twist, that she didn't think it looked right for her to be paying, so before we got to the restaurant/ pub/ wherever she would give me her money first and i would pay.... bizarre.
I think splitting bills at the table is just awkward, especially if it is a nice romantic evening, so personally i'll always pay, but if she offers sometimes then i won't say no :)
Action Jackson
23-04-2007, 11:04
From what I am reading it does seem like this is old fashioned now and that it is much more realistic to half the bills.
I think it is a lot more reasonable.
Most women don't want to appear as life-sucking money-grabbing leeches on a first date. That side of them only comes out after about a year, or after falling pregnant or after marriage(whichever comes first). :D
Most women don't want to appear as life-sucking money-grabbing leeches on a first date. That side of them only comes out after about a year, or after falling pregnant or after marriage(whichever comes first). :D
Is it just me or do other people sense a story here?
I just think it's easy to just say "Let's split it" and we just pay half each.
Even if I had tonnes of money, I still think it is more normal to split things.
orangebird
23-04-2007, 11:42
I'm always more than happy to pay, but pre marriage days, I dated an awful lot of men who insisted on payaing all the time. I think it's a generation thing. I still have male friends now that do not believe a woman should pay for a drink at the pub etc. Admittedly, a lot of my friends are loaded so money isn't an issue. One of them once even threw my bank card across a restuarant once to stop me from paying for my meal! These chaps are all late thirties plus though...
Action Jackson
23-04-2007, 11:43
Is it just me or do other people sense a story here?
When she first arrived from the Philippines via DHL she seemed so nice as well. :(
And as for paying for their holiday.... :shocked:
Well, I did that as my gf wasn't working at the time, but we only went on a holiday that we could afford. Course we didn't take into account the duff visa information we'd been given about her being an south african so missed our flights (I don't think she'd have liked it if I'd got on the plane and left her at Gatwick for a week) and shot off to the Egyptian embassy to get her visa done, then pay for new flights and extra days in the hotel.
sssshhhh
23-04-2007, 12:46
I'd say whoever asks for the first date should probably at least offer to pay, and I would then offer to split the bill (which I think is only polite). I wouldn't be impressed if someone asked me out then expected me to cough up for the lot. If you're in a relationship then it's common sense to share the costs. Not necessarily by who earns the most paying the most, but who ever has the most spare cash at the time.
Of course if you happen to meet a rich millionnaire playboy/girl (I'm still waiting) then you're laughing ;-)
fireman328
23-04-2007, 13:54
As a man of some maturity with a lady friend, I would NEVER expect her to pay for anything if I had issued the invitation.
vBulletin® v3.8.11, Copyright ©2000-2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.