The Poor April Fool's Thread

[andygrif]

Not that I wish to be seen as the stick-in-the-mud, but I don't care much for poor April Fool's jokes.

Here's the place to list the ones played on you today or the extremely lame attempts at jokes by the great media of this land.....

I'll start:

I was listening to TalkSport late last night/early this morning. The presenter was saying that in 2007 all right hand drive cars will be banned from the rest of Europe and France are trialling it by banning all British cars between July & September this year.

And what's even worse than the joke was that people were phoning up to moan about it!!

Over to you.....

[Dave Stones]

philip.j.fry in the gypsy thread ;)
__________________

oh, and look at the front cover of this paper.... http://www.dailystar.co.uk/

just enough second thoughts there to make it true *or* false :p:

[Stuart]

Well, the Capital Radio breakfast show had one that had over 700 people (almost including me) fooled. They broadcast an advert for a fake voice over company which asked people to phone in for an audition. It was funny listening to the kinds of things they were getting the people to do though.

[Paul K]

How about This one (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1340176.html)

[punky]

How about this one? ;) (http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/showthread.php?t=26575)

[Aragorn]

I was listening to TalkSport late last night/early this morning. The presenter was saying that in 2007 all right hand drive cars will be banned from the rest of Europe and France are trialling it by banning all British cars between July & September this year.


Andy,

Have a look in the papers (esp the Times) and you will see other references to this quite decent April Fool.

Indeed, BWM even have a website for it - http://www.uninventthewheel.co.uk/utw/index.htm

Quite amusing I thought, esp the 'Dr Bitt-Fischi' name :D

[Paul K]

How about this one? ;) (http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/showthread.php?t=26575)
Was about to post that too ;)

[philip.j.fry]

philip.j.fry in the gypsy thread ;)


:mad: :blush: :D

[BBKing]

I heard on the radio that Paul Wolfowitz had been made head of the World Bank. Now that's a sick joke, whoever thought that one up should be ashamed of themselves.

[TheBlueRaja]

I heard Alan Shearer was to sign up to Newcastle for another year today - could be another one..

Google have also lauched the "Ridefinder" which sounds like a cracking idea only its to locate Taxis apparently - shame!

http://labs.google.com/ridefinder

[Paul]

Also on Google > http://www.google.co.uk/googlegulp/ ;)

[Paul K]

Also on Google > http://www.google.co.uk/googlegulp/ ;)
Best not look at the all things Gmail thread then (http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/showpost.php?p=438688&postcount=96) ;)

[TheBlueRaja]

LMAO,
Check the privacy statement at the bottom of that...

Google Gulp and Your Privacy
From time to time, in order to improve Google Gulp's usefulness for our users, Google Gulp will send packets of data related to your usage of this product from a wireless transmitter embedded in the base of your Google Gulp bottle to the GulpPlexââ€à ƒâ€¦Ã‚¾Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢, a heavily guarded, massively parallel server farm whose location is known only to Eric Schmidt, who carries its GPS coordinates on a 64-bit-encrypted smart card locked in a stainless-steel briefcase handcuffed to his right wrist. No personally identifiable information of any kind related to your consumption of Google Gulp or any other current or future Google Foods product will ever be given, sold, bartered, auctioned off, tossed into a late-night poker pot, or otherwise transferred in any way to any untrustworthy third party, ever, we swear.

[Marge]

Made me think of the joke I played on BB31 (even though it wasn't April Fools Day) when I convinced her that her house was to be given to asylum seekers and she'd be evicted. I'd found some spook website where you could make false news headlines, certainly worked a treat :D :D :D

[Paul K]

Ikea gets new boss! (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/04/01/steve_jobs_joins_ikea/)
Well I suppose he whould be in charge of producing something cheap and useful for a change ;) :angel:

[punky]

Made me think of the joke I played on BB31 (even though it wasn't April Fools Day) when I convinced her that her house was to be given to asylum seekers and she'd be evicted. I'd found some spook website where you could make false news headlines, certainly worked a treat :D :D :D

That's evil that is! :batty:

I thought of a terrible one to play on my dear old mum, but I bottled it... I would have given the old dear a heart attack.

I was going to say that I got a random girl pregnant from a one night stand at a club, but she told me she was 18, but she was really 15.... Then I changed it to a 16 year old... Then I decided I liked life after all and decided not to go through with it after all... she doesn't deserve a heart attack, let alone multiple ones. And I didn't want to be throttled. See, I do have a conscience... sometimes... :)

I'll be interested to know if anyone decides to try that out and what happens

[bob_builder]

Jamie Oliver MP:
http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/politics/story.jsp?story=625319

[zoombini]

From the PLusnet team.

Subject: ADSL Network and Power Supply Maintenance - 1st April Midnight to Midday

Service Affected:- All Services

Maintenance Window:- 1st April Midnight to Midday

Duration of expected customer impact: - Intermittently during the maintenance window.

Detailed description of work to be performed:-

In order to prepare for the forthcoming ADSL speed upgrades we need to perform some
essential maintenance work on our network.

The first stage of the work will require our network engineers to drain the stale
sessions on our 622Mbps central pipes that have built up over the past few months to
bring them to full operating efficiency.

During the maintenance window we would advise that where possible our customers reverse
the polarity of the neutron flow on their routers. As not every router supports this
functionality we would advise as an alternative to unplug the router from both the power
socket and the phone line and place it in a plastic bag to prevent any lost packets
escaping into the atmosphere.

We will also be taking the opportunity to do our bit for the environment by moving our
electricity supply at our Sheffield Headquarters to solar power.

As a backup measure for when it isn't sunny in Sheffield we have purchased 20 bicycles to
generate the necessary power. The PlusNet Usergroup (http://usergroup.plus.net) have
volunteered to be on standby to cycle for the first month, after that the standby will be
rotated around the rest of our customers in a similar manner to jury service. We will
contact you via email giving you plenty of notice of when it is your turn.

Other Notes:-

Please accept our apologies for the short notice of this maintenance work.

Kind Regards,

Customer Support

:)

[Florence]

This was posted on ISPr which had a few laughs. http://www.joely.net/10mb.jpg

[nffc]

http://www.nottinghamforest.premiumtv.co.uk/page/News/NewsDetail/0,,10308~646792,00.html

Utter Wack.

[Halcyon]

LOL

Some of those are great.

[ScaredWebWarrior]

And then the BBC tell us of a number of stories that maybe ought NOT to have been published today if they wanted anyone to take them seriously.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4400535.stm

[Florence]

Mark.J found a good one for April fools ISPr's April fools joke (http://www.ispreview.co.uk/cgi-bin/news/viewnews.cgi?id=EEEkFuVZlAvBumfZUH)

[Millay]

heres one for you ipoders

http://www.podgear.net/products.html

[Halcyon]

:D Excellent.

[Stuart]

This was posted on ISPr which had a few laughs. http://www.joely.net/10mb.jpg

According to matt2056 (telewest tech), in his post at http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/showpost.php?p=401185&postcount=7, and backed up by page 28 of the Telewest annual report (http://media.corporate-ir.net/media_files/irol/76/76808/presentations/2004presentation.pdf), Telewest ARE starting trials of 10 meg.

[TheBlueRaja]

Inquirer goes mad (i hope)

http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=22280

The 4 conspiracy

The technology behind PHTTP, which is patented jointly by the 4G and Microsoft, is known as single-bit technology and represents a major technical advance in its own right. Most electronic bits are binary †“ either 1 or 0. But it has been known for some time that approximately one in a quadrillion bits is a 4. The original idea behind single-bit technology was to collect these 4s and use them as markers.

Yeah - right...

[Maggy]

And then the BBC tell us of a number of stories that maybe ought NOT to have been published today if they wanted anyone to take them seriously.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4400535.stm


A study of men who attended lapdancing clubs found one man, named by researchers as "Graham the philanthropist" who went five times a week and believed "he was helping the women to make money quickly so they could become financially independent".

Oh Graham is there something you want to confess? :D