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-   -   Thick as thieves? (https://www.cableforum.uk/board/showthread.php?t=33620576)

TheDaddy 30-07-2013 15:05

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
What a cop out, thick as thieves, thick as police should be the term used until they sort this

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...an-rights.html

Derek 30-07-2013 15:18

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDaddy (Post 35601873)
What a cop out, thick as thieves, thick as police should be the term used until they sort this

Hardly the fault of the Police if they have no legal powers to evict people who have found a loophole in the law.

TheDaddy 30-07-2013 16:04

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Derek (Post 35601878)
Hardly the fault of the Police if they have no legal powers to evict people who have found a loophole in the law.

No Derek not the polices fault at all, no stolen goods have been handled at all, three hundred quid is a perfectly reasonable sum for a thirty grand caravan and it sounded to me like the police.found the loophole for them.

Derek 30-07-2013 17:59

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDaddy (Post 35601908)
No Derek not the polices fault at all, no stolen goods have been handled at all, three hundred quid is a perfectly reasonable sum for a thirty grand caravan and it sounded to me like the police.found the loophole for them.

Can the Police LEGALLY do anything further? Nope. You know the £300 story is codswallop, I know it's codswallop, the Police know its codswallop but can they prove it?

I'm 99.9% certain if the Police and CPS charged the current occupants with theft then another member of the travelling fratenity would appear saying he sold it to them at that price as a favour after buying it from another traveller called Paddy who sold it to him cheap as payment for such and such after he bought it from Irish Mick who got it as a wedding present from etc. etc. etc. In certain circles the concept of a 'thieves bargain' holds very little evidential value.

If it was a car or other object then the Police powers are a bit more clear, as it is they cannot LEGALLY seize the caravan, making people homeless. It's the same as squatting cases, the Police know fine well that the occupants didn't just chance upon an open window but broke in but unless they can prove it there is precisely sod all that can be done with the law about it.

TheDaddy 30-07-2013 20:21

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Derek (Post 35602042)
Can the Police LEGALLY do anything further? Nope. You know the £300 story is codswallop, I know it's codswallop, the Police know its codswallop but can they prove it?

I'm 99.9% certain if the Police and CPS charged the current occupants with theft then another member of the travelling fratenity would appear saying he sold it to them at that price as a favour after buying it from another traveller called Paddy who sold it to him cheap as payment for such and such after he bought it from Irish Mick who got it as a wedding present from etc. etc. etc. In certain circles the concept of a 'thieves bargain' holds very little evidential value.

If it was a car or other object then the Police powers are a bit more clear, as it is they cannot LEGALLY seize the caravan, making people homeless. It's the same as squatting cases, the Police know fine well that the occupants didn't just chance upon an open window but broke in but unless they can prove it there is precisely sod all that can be done with the law about it.

Have they tried to make the occupants life harder, can they legally assist the victims of this crime further, have they brushed it away because travellers are troublesome and as for Paddy claiming he bought it of some one else, well nick him to, let a jury decide what's what not some namby pamby social worker or lawyer, it's about time life was made harder for these sort of people not easier.

Osem 30-07-2013 21:17

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDaddy (Post 35602134)
Have they tried to make the occupants life harder, can they legally assist the victims of this crime further, have they brushed it away because travellers are troublesome and as for Paddy claiming he bought it of some one else, well nick him to, let a jury decide what's what not some namby pamby social worker or lawyer, it's about time life was made harder for these sort of people not easier.

IIRC the CPS make those decision NOT the police, often much to the frustration of the latter.

TheDaddy 30-07-2013 22:21

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Osem (Post 35602162)
IIRC the CPS make those decision NOT the police, often much to the frustration of the latter.

They don't make the decision to arrest some one or not, make these low lifes lives a misery until they mend their ways or get locked up for a long time, if they moan about harrasment well stop breaking the law then, sick and tired of pussy footing about with these sorts.

Osem 30-07-2013 22:31

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
No of course they don't but the specific point you were making is that these people ought to be taken in front of a jury and that is not down to the police - hence my earlier reply.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDaddy (Post 35602134)
let a jury decide .


Derek 30-07-2013 22:51

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDaddy (Post 35602198)
They don't make the decision to arrest some one or not, make these low lifes lives a misery until they mend their ways or get locked up for a long time, if they moan about harrasment well stop breaking the law then, sick and tired of pussy footing about with these sorts.

Well reading between the lines of the article the offending caravan dwellers have already been arrested and not enough evidence to proceed with a charge was found (CPS probably want a confession signed in blood)

After that the Police need evidence or sufficient cause to arrest again, much as they would like to harass perpetual crims if they continually arrest and pester them all that will happen is complaints will fly about and the crim will end up with a tax payer funded payout for Police harassment.

Osem 31-07-2013 20:38

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Not a thief but pretty thick I'd say :)

Quote:

A motorcyclist who was caught speeding at 122mph and boasted on an internet forum about lying to police has been jailed for eight months.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-22453465

---------- Post added at 20:38 ---------- Previous post was at 20:37 ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Derek (Post 35602219)
Well reading between the lines of the article the offending caravan dwellers have already been arrested and not enough evidence to proceed with a charge was found (CPS probably want a confession signed in blood)

After that the Police need evidence or sufficient cause to arrest again, much as they would like to harass perpetual crims if they continually arrest and pester them all that will happen is complaints will fly about and the crim will end up with a tax payer funded payout for Police harassment.

Yup.

Osem 21-03-2014 10:18

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Burglar Ashley Keast put himself in the frame after he accidentally posted this "selfie" - to friends of his victim.

The 25-year old had celebrated the burglary by placing his SIM card inside a mobile phone stolen from the property before taking photos of himself

But in doing so Mr Keast unknowingly sent out the image using the WhatsApp messenger service which had been previously downloaded onto the phone by the owner.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukne...ng-selfie.html

:D

Ramrod 21-03-2014 11:39

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Feckwhit....:dozey::D

solitaire 21-03-2014 16:14

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ramrod (Post 35682171)
Feckwhit....:dozey::D

Agreed, definitely a candidate for a Darwin award. :)

Russ 14-05-2014 16:07

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-s...wales-27408233

*face palm*

Derek 05-06-2014 20:26

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Very, very stupid. It would be a terrible shame if some current members of the regiment found out who was responsible and had a word.

Quote:

Police are investigating after bronze plaques were stolen from a statue of Special Air Service founder Sir David Stirling.

The plates, one a tribute to the SAS troops killed in World War Two, were removed from the plinth of the statue near Doune in Stirlingshire sometime between 22 and 29 May.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotlan...ntral-27716544

Osem 18-09-2014 17:53

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
This guy's an artwork short of a collection methinks:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-29251695

I just love the way the CCTV shows him trying to hide it inside his bomber jacket. What a knob! :D

weenie 18-09-2014 18:48

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
What a TUBE, thought it was funny that he tried to hide it in his jacket.

Derek 29-10-2014 11:21

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Some exceptionally poor luck for this crim.

Quote:

A group of ultrarunners managed to catch a shoplifter in Chattanooga, Tennessee earlier this month. The runners were working at outdoor retailer Rock/Creek when they spotted the thief.

The store's assistant manager, Eric Lofflang, immediately started running and was joint by several other employees. They pursued the suspect down a street and through some carparks before entering a forest.

Eric, who has run several 50k and 100 mile races, explains: "Being a trail runner, it wasn't hard to follow someone through the woods." It is rumoured that Eric shouted, "Man, I can do this for about 23 more hours!" whilst chasing the shoplifter.
http://scottishrunningguide.com/news...rs-catch-thief

weenie 15-12-2014 23:56

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Housebreaker caught after leaving mobile phone LOL
serves him right IMO

http://news.stv.tv/west-central/3036...en-into-house/

heero_yuy 16-12-2014 08:41

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

A thief in Australia accidentally “took his own mugshot” after he provided a close-up time-stamped image of himself while stealing the CCTV camera from the wall.

Police released a photo of the man, which showed him robbing the camera from a photography studio in Wollongong, south of Sydney.

The photo was posted by police on Facebook and prompted comments such as "He should have just worn a name tag” and “Smile for the camera” and “Take your own mugshot”.
Linky

What a jerk. :D

Osem 30-12-2014 16:36

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Yet another fine example:

Quote:

Police in Australia have released CCTV footage in search of a man who tried to rob an ATM by blowing it up.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-30633723

Apparently police are looking for a man with apparent severe sunburn and no hair on the front of his torso... :D

Derek 08-01-2015 16:44

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
If you are going to flaunt your ill gotten gains maybe pick and choose when and where to do it.

Quote:

A policeman with a sideline as a gangster involved in prostitution and drugs was brought to justice after driving a £170,000 Ferrari to work.

Osman Iqbal, who was an officer based in Birmingham, was jailed in September for seven years for running a brothel.

Iqbal, 37, whose crimes can only now be reported in full for the first time, was in court again on Wednesday, when he admitted three misconduct offences.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...ngham-30710852

deadite66 15-01-2015 19:05

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukne...-at-Tesco.html

A man has been arrested after allegedly threatening to kill supermarket staff as he brandished a photo of a gun.

Osem 15-01-2015 19:23

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by deadite66 (Post 35752898)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukne...-at-Tesco.html

A man has been arrested after allegedly threatening to kill supermarket staff as he brandished a photo of a gun.

Was it loaded though?? :confused:



:D

richard s 15-01-2015 19:33

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Arrested! I think he needs help.

heero_yuy 05-03-2015 12:39

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Andrew Hennells told his Facebook friends he was ‘doing Tesco over’ before, well, doing Tesco over.

The 31-year-old robbed the store in King’s Lynn, Norfolk, and escaped with £410 on Friday February 13.

A member of the public tipped off police before he hit the store.

Officers later found him splashing the cash down the local boozer.
Linky

Unlucky for some. :D

Uncle Peter 05-03-2015 13:04

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by heero_yuy (Post 35763083)
Linky

Unlucky for some. :D

:rofl: the gene pool is knackered! it's like a real-life episode of trailer park boys

Osem 05-03-2015 13:06

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
:rofl:

heero_yuy 11-03-2015 14:02

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Another one from the bottom of the gene pool:

Quote:

Robert STUBBERFIELD 19yrs of no fixed abode has been charged with possessing class A drugs after turning up at Trowbridge Police Station to complain about being named on Facebook.*

He was arrested on an outstanding warrant, and found to be in possession of the drugs when searched in custody.
Linky

Story was in my redtop but this is the source.

*As a shoplifter.

Stuart 25-03-2015 11:18

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
A man in Maine has been caught and arrested for stealing a propane stove after he boasted on Snapchat that he was hiding in a cabinet when the police visited his house.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/03..._into_custody/

Osem 25-03-2015 14:16

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
What a knob. :D

Stuart 27-04-2015 16:18

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Would you break in to a man's truck, steal an iPad and $9000 then go to your local Burger King and post selfies boasting about it? These guys did.

Osem 27-04-2015 19:11

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
:rofl:

Dolts! :D

weenie 09-09-2015 14:11

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
No money in the bank :dunce:
Bungling thieves broke into an empty bank almost a year after it closed down and left with nothing :LOL:
http://news.stv.tv/west-central/1328...ace-clydebank/

Osem 09-09-2015 14:41

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weenie (Post 35797270)
No money in the bank :dunce:
Bungling thieves broke into an empty bank almost a year after it closed down and left with nothing :LOL:
http://news.stv.tv/west-central/1328...ace-clydebank/

:rofl:

Kursk 09-09-2015 15:16

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weenie (Post 35797270)
Bungling thieves broke into an empty bank almost a year after it closed down and left with nothing[/URL]

I think it's quaint that there are still people who don't know that the banks were emptied in 2008 by people in suits.

They didn't even have the decency to run when they left :rolleyes:.

heero_yuy 29-09-2015 09:20

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

A MUM who went shoplifting two days after winning £250,000 on a scratchcard thought she was “invisible” after taking drugs.

Nicola Lord took tranquilliser diazepam before stealing perfume worth £514 from Boots.

The 38-year-old was out on licence from jail and has a drug issue, a court heard.

She went shoplifting to raise cash to pay rent arrears and money owed to her boyfriend.

Lord, of Blackpool, was given a 24-week suspended jail term by a local court and was ordered to pay £1,330 costs and fines. She admitted the theft in Lytham and one at M&S.
Paywall link

Alt link

High as a kite. :D

Ramrod 29-09-2015 11:57

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

She went shoplifting to raise cash to pay rent arrears and money owed to her boyfriend
But......she'd just won all that money :confused:

heero_yuy 02-10-2015 08:54

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

A dopey thief was arrested by cops after walking into a police station to complain that he was featured on a WANTED poster.

Nicholas Allegretto, 23, told officers that a CCTV image of him used on the poster and published in his local newspaper was a breach of his human rights.

He also complained that had lost his job as a result and his family had been mocked.

However roofer Allegretto was arrested by police, interviewed and charged with theft.

Ironically, the CCTV image published in the local press and social media did not even show his face.
Linky

:rofl:

Osem 02-10-2015 10:02

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
They just keep getting better don't they. :D

TheDaddy 04-10-2015 19:44

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by heero_yuy (Post 35801516)
Linky

:rofl:

Not as mocked as he and they are being now

Stuart 12-10-2015 20:55

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
A man went to a police station to collect his stolen car court documents and stole a car to get there.. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/10..._a_stolen_car/

heero_yuy 25-10-2015 11:04

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

A man and woman stole jewelry from an art gallery, and then left the woman's name and number in the guestbook, police said.

Megan Ohara, 24, and David Ziskoski, 19, were arrested on Sunday by the Palm Beach Police Department.

Police said Ohara and Ziskowski walked into the Attila JK exhibition at the ICFA Gallery in Palm Beach Sunday and took a bracelet and a ring belonging to the exhibition's owner and artist. The artist said his jewelry was sitting on a desk in the gallery and that combined, the items cost about $6,000.
Linky

:rofl:

Osem 02-12-2015 18:18

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

A burglar who filmed himself stealing a Porsche before crashing it into a wall and getting trapped in the wreckage has been jailed.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...shire-34981860

:D

Mick Fisher 03-12-2015 18:28

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
So there really is a God and he has a sense of humour :D

TheDaddy 06-12-2015 20:05

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Ian Carr had his head comfortably resting back and was loudly snoring on the settee when stunned householder Michael Kitchen got up for a drink in the early hours of November 3 and spotted him.

Newcastle Crown Court heard the 25-year-old student alerted housemate Matthew Thompson, 22, and the shocked pair contacted the police.

Carr, 29, who had crept in to flat in Heaton, Newcastle, through an unlocked patio, stayed there snoozing until the police arrived and woke him up.

Before he dozed off, he had packed up belongings ready to steal and was already wearing Mr Kitchen's jacket.


http://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/20...a-during-raid/

Osem 08-12-2015 08:01

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

A cash-strapped university lecturer was spared jail after he admitted forging a number of art prints that he later attempted to auction off.

Sheridan Tandy, 68, of Taunton, Somerset, faked the artwork, known as ‘Grosvenor School’ prints, using his expertise and years of knowledge working in print and art.

In October last year, he sold four prints, also known as linocuts, through his local auction house, Lawrence’s of Crewkerne in Somerset, at a profit of £5,000.

However, suspicions were raised over the validity of the art in March when three linocuts received for valuation were inspected by an expert at Bonham’s Auction House.

The expert contacted Scotland Yard's Art and Antiques Unit after the linocuts appeared to be so recent they still smelt of paint.
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/un...-a3131911.html


:rofl:

Ramrod 08-12-2015 12:43

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
He wasn't much of an expert then really :D

tweetiepooh 08-12-2015 15:10

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Thing is if he had signed his name on them and sold as genuine fakes I don't think there is a problem (copyright?) it's when you put the artists name and pass them of as genuine (forgery) that there is something to answer for. Good fakes can sometimes be worth good money.

I remember some TV programme a long while back that looked at professional fakers. Some would even fake one picture in the style of another artist (Mona Lisa painted by Picasso anyone?)

heero_yuy 09-12-2015 10:14

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

BRITAIN’S worst burglar has admitted he needs a “career change” after being jailed yet again for another failed house raid.

Gerard Sanders, who once knocked himself out by hitting his head on a plant pot as he fled, was given a 40-week sentence at Liverpool crown court.

Sanders, 32, was found unconscious from the wack after jumping out of a window in 2010.

A month earlier he cut himself as he tried to escape an off-duty policeman, leaving DNA.

And in 2013 he was caught wandering the streets with electronic items from another raid.

His lawyer, Brendan Carvill, said Sanders, who was jailed for a fourth time, accepted he was “incompetent” and “needs to change his trade”.
Linky

:rofl:

And:

Quote:

A SUSPECTED burglar who became stuck in the chimney of a California home died of burns and smoke inhalation after the home's owner lit a fire in the fireplace.

The Fresno County Sheriff's Office identified the deceased suspect as 19-year-old Cody Caldwell, who was pronounced dead at the scene, reports FoxNews.com.

Investigators believe Caldwell climbed in the chimney to rob the home in the small city of Huron but became stuck. He was in the chimney for almost 24 hours by the time the male homeowner came home and lit the fire just before 3 p.m. Saturday.
Linky

:afire: :D

TheDaddy 10-12-2015 17:13

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Thief mocked

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...tive-ears.html

heero_yuy 10-12-2015 18:27

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Proper wingnut. :D

Gary L 10-12-2015 21:17

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
You just know that when he was a baby he was picked up and carried around by them ears.

heero_yuy 03-02-2016 11:08

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

A BOOZED-UP burglar stole a phone from a pensioner's home and then used it to film himself, a court heard.

Angus Walton, 46, stole possessions from several people who were at the house in Workington to help the elderly occupant.

Walton sneaked into the Bank Road property on the morning of April 11. He snatched a chainsaw, bottle of whisky, a handbag and a phone.

Walton fled the scene, went to a nearby churchyard and filmed himself on the stolen handset.
Linky

heero_yuy 04-02-2016 09:25

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

A pair of would-be robbers failed when the cash point they'd made off with fell out of the back of their van.

Jamie Ronald Keegan and Marc Andrew Shelton had stolen the ATM from a bank before bungling it into a van and speeding off.

But the chains which were wrapped around the cash point came loose and began hitting other vehicles, sparking the attention of police.

Police gave chase, and realised a large metal chain was hanging from the back, hitting and damaging parked cars as the pair fled in the van.
Quote:

the ATM – which had an out of order sign on it
Linky

:rofl:

Kymmy 26-03-2016 11:06

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Not thieves and not recent but a BBC article on clocks going forward had a great little end story.

Quote:

The bombing that was stopped by daylight saving
In 1999 four would-be terrorists loaded two bombs into two cars. The bombs were set to go off at 6.30pm.
Their intention was to load the bombs onto the luggage racks of two intercity buses before hopping off and driving away.
They armed the bombs in Palestine. Their targets were in Israel.
Israel had turned the clocks back a day before but the bombers hadn't noticed the difference. The bombs blew up at 5.30pm local time while still in their cars, killing the bombers.

heero_yuy 02-04-2016 10:29

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

A DRUG dealer ended up in court – after telling police his cocaine had been stolen.

Daniel Barker, 23, phoned officers to say he had been assaulted, but then dropped himself in it by saying two men had made off with his cocaine.

Carlisle Crown Court heard this happened after a planned drug deal went wrong at a park off the city’s Newtown Road.

Barker, of Applewood Close, Botcherby, Carlisle, even went on to tell officers: “I have some on me now.”

When he was then asked if there were any more drugs in his house, he replied: “Aye boss, there is.”
:rofl:

linky

Osem 02-04-2016 15:37

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
:D

Not the sharpest tool in the block then...

Kymmy 05-04-2016 09:58

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35785834

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBCNews
13 of the world's most stupid criminals

To many to cut/paste here but still great reading on the website :D

Some I think are already detailed in this thread but others are not

Stuart 05-04-2016 17:17

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Can't find a link, but on the Johnny Vaughn show on XFM a couple of months ago, he told a story of a stage hypnotist who accidentally hypnotised himself, then admitted (on stage) that he was not who he claimed, he actually had four other identities, each of which was wanted for Benefit Fraud.

Osem 06-04-2016 11:08

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Stuart (Post 35830958)
Can't find a link, but on the Johnny Vaughn show on XFM a couple of months ago, he told a story of a stage hypnotist who accidentally hypnotised himself, then admitted (on stage) that he was not who he claimed, he actually had four other identities, each of which was wanted for Benefit Fraud.

That's a classic. :D

Stuart 06-04-2016 21:02

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Another one, with a link this time..

From: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/04...scape_attempt/

Apparently, police saw a twenty year old man at a known drug den in Tampa Bay. The Officer in question detected a strong smell of Marijuana. The man tried to make his getaway on one of these cheap "Hoverboards", and, realising it wasn't fast enough, jumped off it and ran.

heero_yuy 13-05-2016 15:08

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

AN Idiot car thief has been caught on tape bragging how he stole an exclusive BMW i3 - after working out how to take the handbrake off.

The young thief inadvertently gives away his address and pals' names as he phones around in a bid to sell on the £30,000 hybrid.

The dashcam footage - with hilarious 'running commentary' - was captured after the crook stole the car off a drive in north London.

On the recording, the thief confesses all by saying: "I got it bruv. I'm driving it now. I jumped in it and took it bruv. I'm going to park it in my flats or down by Luke's.

"I have never been in a car like this. This car will leave anything for dust. It can move. It's an i3 BMW. So make your calls bruv cos I'm driving this to my flat....I live on the big estate at North Middlesex Hospital."
Story and video

Gary L 13-05-2016 21:21

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
I's gonna go to da geezers house and look at his curved tele and bass boxes. and I is gonna snog his bird.

TheDaddy 13-05-2016 22:17

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Gary L (Post 35837500)
I's gonna go to da geezers house and look at his curved tele and bass boxes. and I is gonna snog his bird.

You is his bird...

Kursk 14-05-2016 00:08

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Gary L (Post 35837500)
I's gonna go to da geezers house and look at his curved tele and bass boxes. and I is gonna snog his bird.

U iz gonna snog 'is bruvver u nonce.

Gary L 15-05-2016 11:40

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDaddy (Post 35837514)
You is his bird...

And you're my Biatch... :)

---------- Post added at 11:40 ---------- Previous post was at 11:37 ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kursk (Post 35837535)
U iz gonna snog 'is bruvver u nonce.

I can't. I stopped being an alcoholic just last week.

Russ 05-07-2016 15:45

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Thick people. Bless 'em.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news...attack-8353478

TheDaddy 08-07-2016 06:10

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Sigh, was it ever going to work

https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...ic-tyne-tunnel

heero_yuy 24-08-2016 09:43

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Raiders drilled through 7ft gates, picked a lock and removed a double-glazed window before stealing a safe . . . containing 60p.

The gang must have expected rich pickings after they broke in to a kids’ private nursery and discovered the electronic box.

The gang were expecting a bigger haul when they broke into the Ferryhill hub in Durham

Boss Laura Leigh Wayman, 27, said: “I wish I had seen their faces. All that hard work for 60p. More fool them. It was definitely not worth the effort for coppers.”

The mum of one added: “I’ve never left money in the safe overnight.

“The maximum it’s ever had is £5, so it’s their loss.”
Linky

:rofl:

Stuart 24-08-2016 10:26

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by heero_yuy (Post 35855652)
Linky

:rofl:

My dad had something similar when we owned a shop. A thief broke in to our shop. Smashed the window, damaging the metal frame in the process, set off the alarm, ignored the till (which was empty in any case) and nicked a £2 packet of cigarettes (this was the 1980s). The thing that annoyed my dad is he caused nearly £600 of damage, and my dad had to go back to the shop before it opened.

heero_yuy 14-10-2016 10:59

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

A 'stupid' burglar has been jailed after he stole a car to get home after a drinking session and left it parked outside his front door.

Daniel Gayton carried out four different raids on homes near where he lived in Exeter in search of keys for cars which he took for drunken rides in the middle of the night.

He crashed one of the cars in a country lane near Crediton and was finally caught when he left one outside his front door while he went inside to sleep off a drinking session.

His burglaries caused enormous inconvenience to the victims, who included a single mother who was working as a nurse. Her car was written off and her pushchair and child seat stolen from inside.

Gayton was jailed for four and a half years at Exeter Crown Court where a judge branded him as a menace to the public.
Linky

Another one from the bottom of the gene pool.

Osem 14-10-2016 14:02

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by heero_yuy (Post 35863543)
Linky

Another one from the bottom of the gene pool.

:rofl:

Maggy 18-10-2016 21:41

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...8143375644#_=_

:rofl:

Mick Fisher 19-10-2016 16:08

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggy J (Post 35864538)

You really couldn't make it up......

Osem 19-10-2016 18:13

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Presumably he also believes he's invisible when he closes his eyes... :D

Uncle Peter 19-10-2016 18:17

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
The hunchback of Dunelm Mill...

The blinds the blinds, they made me deaf you know

heero_yuy 10-12-2016 11:02

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Christmas tree foils bank raid

Quote:

“When you look at the window they smashed, you can see a giant Christmas tree behind it so it obviously wasn’t well planned.

“This must be the first bank raid ever to be foiled by a Christmas decoration.”

The Barclays remained sealed off by police for the rest of the day, while the vehicle was taken away by police officers.

Osem 10-12-2016 11:20

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Maybe they were after all the presents under the tree... :D

Taf 10-12-2016 12:54

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Several months ago I had a Halford's car battery blow its lid off. I was asked to hold on to it until their techs could decide what to do about it.

I covered it with a plastic bag and hid it behind the wheelie bin beside the house.

A neighbour came over and told me that a "scrap metal merchant" had boldly walked into our garden and made of with it. But as he lifted it into the back of the truck the lid came off and he was soaked with "water" coming off it.

Not water, sulphuric acid.

I hope he enjoyed the experience.....

Osem 10-12-2016 13:51

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Eau de H2SO4? Sounds quite exotic...

:D

1andrew1 13-12-2016 20:58

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
A convicted burglar who pinched a bus and immediately smashed it into metal railings told police: “I don’t know why I did it.”
Bungling Stephen Andrew Pope left the £5,500 bus beyond repair after the bizarre theft, on June 16 this year.
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/...it-st-12312985

Ramrod 23-01-2017 07:13

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
This gem from the Spectator
Quote:

One client of mine, whom I shall call Blofeld, decided to murder his wife.

I do not wish to advise readers as to the best methods for such a crime, but they tend to the prosaic: poison, strangulation, bludgeoning, etc.

Blofeld decided to finish off his missus by firing a homemade, 4ft-long rocket into her car as she drove through a wooded copse on her way home from work.

After painstakingly building his weapon in the shed, he placed it on a custom-built launch frame and angled it towards the road. To ensure it was fired at precisely the correct moment, he positioned himself on the other side of the road, facing the rocket, with a remote control gizmo in hand. Then he lay in wait.

A few minutes later, his wife’s car drew into sight. The moment it was level with Blofeld he pushed the button. Instantly, there was a flash and a roar as the rocket flew towards its target.

It would have been the perfect murder, too, had it not been for one key flaw: his wife’s car was 50 yards up the road by the time the rocket reached the desired point.

Worse, the rocket flew on and smashed into the tree behind which Blofeld was hiding, and exploded with an enormous bang.

The resultant fireball engulfed him, setting fire to his hair and beard, and he was still bandaged up like a mummy when the judge gave him 20 years.
:D

heero_yuy 04-02-2017 10:22

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Bungling Sean Crawshaw, 47, came a cropper while targeting the property in Radcliffe, Manchester.

The hapless crook was left dangling 15ft in the air after becoming wedged in bathroom window

He was discovered by the stunned occupant of the house, a woman in her 60s, when she returned home from a trip to the shops.

Crawshaw’s head was completely stuck through the window, with his knees on the windowsill – around 15ft off the ground.

The householder dialled 999 and police and fire crews came to remove him.

He was later arrested and has now been locked up for the offence that toook place on December 16 last year.

Crawshaw, of Radcliffe, Manchester was jailed for two years and four months after pleading guilty to burglary with intent to steal.
Source

http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/at...8&d=1486203603

Attachment 26878

Mr Banana 04-02-2017 10:25

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by heero_yuy (Post 35883897)

Pity the wood didn't snap and split the turd in two

heero_yuy 16-08-2017 09:10

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

When a gambling addict failed to get a job at a Birmingham bookies, he held it up at gunpoint instead, making off with £17,000.

But bungling Umar Mirza was rapidly collared – because he had left his CV, containing all his personal details, with the boss.
Source

They just get better. :D

Osem 16-08-2017 15:29

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by heero_yuy (Post 35912789)
Source

They just get better. :D

:rofl:

joglynne 21-08-2017 21:10

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

You couldn't make this up...
I do feel sorry for their victims but this Manchester gang really could have tried a tad harder to not showcase their lack of brain cells.


heero_yuy 01-09-2017 11:02

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Two bungling armed robbers stormed a packed bar and demanded cash - only to find it full of cops holding a police retirement party.

The masked men allegedly demanded cash from the register at a pub in Baltimore, US on Tuesday evening while a group of officers gathered for a sergeant's retirement.

Monaghan's pub owner Jack Milani told The Baltimore Sun that the men demanded cash from the register and then took off.

Some of the off-duty officers attending the retirement party chased down the men and arrested them nearby, the department said.

Joseph McInnis III, 21, and Tyree McCoy, 22, face charges of armed robbery and possession of a handgun.

The owner of Monaghan's Pub said it was odd that someone would attempt a robbery because the police station is directly across the street and many of the officers are regulars.
Source

:rofl:

Osem 01-09-2017 11:04

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
That's a classic. :D

Osem 13-10-2017 18:41

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
How about these two crooks:

Quote:

A "greedy" couple made "fake" holiday sickness compensation claims while boasting about holidays full of "sun, laughter and fun", a court heard.
Deborah Briton, 53, and partner Paul Roberts, 43, were jailed at Liverpool Crown Court after admitting fraud.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...yside-41609527

Glad they got done.

1andrew1 31-10-2017 19:13

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
A thoroughly unsavoury character.
Quote:

Crimewave ended when thick thief swam into Manchester Ship Canal and took his clothes off
Officers caught up with Bates shortly after midnight on Friday, June 2, when he was chased near the Bridgewater Expressway in Runcorn down to Mersey Road, where he ditched his bicycle and swam out into the Manchester Ship Canal, waving his knife in the air and warning police not to arrest him. Hypothermia set in and he began removing clothes and asking for something to drink, the court heard. A police officer left a bottle of water by the canal’s edge and Bates was arrested when he tried to retrieve it.
All those crimes were committed while Bates was on bail for stabbing his flatmate with a steak knife after he asked him to move his bike out of their kitchen because he was cooking.
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/...-swam-13836075

weenie 02-11-2017 19:00

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Birmingham burglary suspect trapped in takeaway vent :LOL:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...ngham-41848590

TheDaddy 17-11-2017 06:37

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Perhaps they've been hanging around with stupid criminals to long and it's rubbed of on them

Sources say it started when two special ops officers from the 12th Precinct were operating a "push off" on Andover near Seven Mile. That is when two undercover officers pretend to be dope dealers, waiting for eager customers to approach, and then arrest potential buyers and seize their vehicles.

But this time, instead of customers, special ops officers from the 11th Precinct showed up. Not realizing they were fellow officers, they ordered the other undercover officers to the ground.

FOX 2 is told the rest of the special ops team from the 12th Precinct showed up, and officers began raiding a house in the 19300 block of Andover. But instead of fighting crime, officers from both precincts began fighting with each other.



http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/loca...-op-gone-wrong

Ramrod 17-11-2017 17:49

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDaddy (Post 35925342)
Perhaps they've been hanging around with stupid criminals to long and it's rubbed of on them

Sources say it started when two special ops officers from the 12th Precinct were operating a "push off" on Andover near Seven Mile. That is when two undercover officers pretend to be dope dealers, waiting for eager customers to approach, and then arrest potential buyers and seize their vehicles.

But this time, instead of customers, special ops officers from the 11th Precinct showed up. Not realizing they were fellow officers, they ordered the other undercover officers to the ground.

FOX 2 is told the rest of the special ops team from the 12th Precinct showed up, and officers began raiding a house in the 19300 block of Andover. But instead of fighting crime, officers from both precincts began fighting with each other.



http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/loca...-op-gone-wrong

Oh, for gods sake....:mis::doh:

Maggy 24-12-2017 11:23

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-42471543

Quote:

An alleged drug dealer in Copenhagen received an unwanted surprise for Christmas when he jumped into the back of a taxi with about 1,000 joints on him, only to find it was a police car.
:D

Ramrod 24-12-2017 18:55

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggy J (Post 35929936)

I have no words.......:dozey: :banghead: :D

heero_yuy 13-01-2018 16:10

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

A thief is in critical condition after accidentally blowing himself up when he tried to rob an ATM.

CCTV footage shows the man fly backwards from the force of the blast and remain collapsed on the ground.

Another man can then be seen poking around the debris before standing over the fallen man.

He appears to check if he is okay and tugs him a couple of yards away from the destroyed cashpoint.

However, seeing the man unresponsive, he walks away with a bag in his hand.

The fallen man, 51, was taken to hospital on Thursday night following the explosion in Clydebank.
Source

Michael Caine's immortal phrase comes to mind. :D

1andrew1 25-02-2018 22:10

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Liverpool boxer Moore’s autobiographical novel about his time in Thai prisons has been made into a major film.
But he is now set to miss its premiere because he was jailed again on Friday.
The 45-year-old, of Dyson Street in Walton, wrote “A Prayer Before Dawn”, which has been transferred to the screen by Hurricane Films and played at the prestigious Cannes Festival...
Yet 45-year-old Moore, who has battled addiction demons for years, is now back behind bars after committing burgling a neighbour’s home - three times on the same day - and stealing items including jewellery.
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news...r-man-14335545

heero_yuy 11-04-2018 09:46

Re: Thick as thieves?
 
Quote:

Quote from South Wales Argus:


A former service station manager who robbed his previous employer for £4,000 in an attempt to halt a spiralling debt crisis has been jailed, after being identified by his voice and the way he walks.

Nathan Jones, of King Henry V Drive, Monmouth, was said to have been “desperate for a solution” to his debt problems after his partner left him, and decided that robbing Raglan Services, where he used to work in the Esso service station as a deputy manager, was the answer.

Wearing a pair of tracksuit bottoms over his face with eye holes cut out to cover his face, and plastic bags on his feet, in an attempt to hide his shoes, he threatened former colleague Leigh Strawford with a metal bar during the raid, but was foiled when she recognised his personal characteristics and the fact he knew exactly where the money was kept.
:D


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